Lance & Taylor

Fresh Start

2011-08-25T19:42:00.002-06:00

Hey All (followers and sporadic readers alike)

Lance & I have decided to create a new blog--a fresh start.

Well, as editor/author/executive producer I made the decision.

As loyal husband, Lance is going along with me.

Check us out here for all our adventures.

The Newlyweds

(I promise to be wittier and post more pictures!)

If you'd like to follow, that'd be lovely too. :)

Shock Factor

2011-08-23T17:15:00.000-06:00

Now this looks like a job for me

So everybody just follow me

'Cause we need a little controversy

'Cause it feels so empty without me.

Without Me, Eminem

I think one of the reasons this is my favorite Eminem song is because I subscribe to the shock factor. I like a little controversy. Keeps things interesting.

Balance

2011-08-23T02:26:00.001-06:00

It's wrong to say that marriage is all about balance. There is so much more to bringing together two lives, two souls, two people with dreams, expectations, hopes, abilities, styles and tolerance for unpleasant things in life (such as spiders).

But a part of marriage is balance.

And at the present moment making a goal to get our internal clocks on the same time.

But back to balance.

Lance & I do a pretty good job of balancing each other out.

A prime example is stress/worry and how we manage it. I tend to accuse Lance of failing to manage his stress/worry because I don't see him a) freaking out, b) constantly talking about how stressed/worried he is, c) pacing back and forth, d) writing about how stressed/worried he is, e) telling me how stressed/worried he is, and f) exhibiting other behaviors generally accepted as physical signs of stress/worry.

I, on the other hand, suck the stress/worry out of other people. If I don't keep control of it, I could be up all night worrying about my problems, Lance's problems, our shirtless neighbor's problems...I worry about how the stray cats are going to keep warm when it gets colder. I stress about getting a promotion work and analyze and reanalyze my game plan until the sun comes up. I stress/worry/problem solve in my dreams.

No wonder Lance can sleep so peacefully at night. It is pertinent that one of us sleeps tonight. We're making waffles in the morning and somebody needs to be lucid enough to work the waffle iron.

Shout Out

2011-08-16T21:56:00.000-06:00

I'd like to do a little shout out to Ashley's mom. She validates my fashion choices and I greatly appreciate it. Seriously, I know I've picked out a winner when she approves. :)

[Exhibit A] Wedding dress and nude shoes.

[Exhibit B] Yellow Dress for Maren's wedding.

Thanks Ashley's mom! I'll make sure to keep up the fashion at the next family wedding. :)

Roomies

2011-08-10T16:57:00.001-06:00

Please excuse my cleavage. Sometimes those girls get a little out of control--on a Sunday afternoon no less!

Last year I had AMAZING roommates.

I've always been lucky when it comes to moving in with strangers.

These girls were the best ever!

Allison (far left) is currently serving a Spanish speaking mission in Panama City, Panama. She left in April--right after the semester ended.

Laura will be leaving for her Spanish speaking mission in South Salt Lake City in September.

We all know what I've been doing with my life--graduation, marriage, working. It's all good.

Sarah just got her mission call TODAY. She's serving in the West Indies and leaves in November. I don't know what language she's speaking but there are quite a few options for her out there--Spanish, French, Dutch, English, etc.

I feel so lucky to have shared an apartment with these girls. They will all make great missionaries. I can't wait to hear all about their adventures and see them when they all return.

Bleeding Heart

2011-08-08T17:47:00.000-06:00

It happened so quickly.

One moment I'm making sure they are showering and getting into their pjs and the next I am shut in a room with 4 teenage boys, one of whom is in the middle of a major emotional meltdown.

Panic sweeps through me. There's chaos outside the room and chaos inside the room. Frantically wracking my brain my only solution is to "give him space". Minutes pass by excruciatingly slow. With each second comes the relief of another moment without injury. With each second comes the fear that this time we won't be so lucky.

Suddenly the hero of the story emerges in the most unlikely of places.

He has trouble focusing and controlling his speaking volume. He has a never ending source of energy when it comes to arguing about rules. He struggles to control his impulses and is slightly lacking in the tact department. As the other boy struggles to control his emotions, this young man walks over and starts talking about his favorite parts of South Park. The next thing I know, the tears are replaced by laughter and the tension in the room dissipates.

As I stood there watching the two of them, I was overwhelmed by the simple kindness expressed by that young man. If only I could be more like him. If only.

Guilty Pleasures

2011-08-01T17:03:00.000-06:00

Trashy magazines. I can't help myself. I love to look at all the pictures, catch up on my celebrity gossip, and relish in the fact that my life is blissfully normal comparatively. To keep a handle on this guilty pleasure, I rarely buy them...but every so often I cave in while standing in line. So trashy. Love it.

Netflix. Where to begin. Law & Order: SVU. Bones. Say Yes to the Dress. Never Say Never. 8 Mile. The list of reasons why I love it goes on and on and on. So many shows, so little time. Curling up on the couch--maybe with a bowl of popcorn--and indulging late into the night sounds perfectly lovely to me.

Popcorn. But not the microwavable kind. That stuff is sick nasty. I love the stove top variation and not to toot my own horn but it is the best around. I've recently dabbled in stove top kettle corn. Despite a few burning incidents, it is delish and easy to make.

Sleeping in. Working nights has perks--perks in the form of staying in bed until noon just because we can. Sleeping in is even better when you have a bed buddy.

Snail mail. There is something so invigorating about checking the mail and finding a letter in an envelope with a real life stamp on it. Or better yet, a package! I even like sending mail...although I'm not as diligent as I would hope. Emails are so easy. I appreciate the effort someone takes to send me something.

Shoes. No, I don't own hundreds. I don't know if I even own 20 pairs but I love shoe shopping. I could spend an entire afternoon in a shoe store trying on pair after pair. Sometimes I plan my entire outfit around my shoes. High heels are a favorite of mine.

Badadadaaaaaaaaaa!!

2011-07-27T14:18:00.000-06:00

I know you've been waiting a long time for this. Enjoy this little lovely piece of work. :)

I got my hair done did!

2011-07-26T18:10:00.001-06:00

Please excuse the tank top. It's flipping hot outside PLUS it's laundry day. :)

A-BURN!

2011-07-23T17:14:00.001-06:00

Yes, I'm fluent in That 70's Show.

Just a perk in watching every single episode on Netflix.

I'm about to burn 97% of the Provo/Orem, UT population but I just can't help myself.

Dear Hipsters (all those who live in the Provo/Orem, UT area and work at Heritage Schools),
You make me want to throw up with your TOMS shoes and skinny jeans. Please stop wearing those vests...you're going to a soccer game, not the Opera. Also, those glasses. Are you for reals?! If you need glasses, okay. But those fakies just don't work for me. Your sunglasses make me want to punch the sun out for all eternity. And your v neck shirts make me want to wear turtlenecks for the rest of my life. If you continue to not wear socks you are going to have some serious odor issues. It's summer! Wear sandals if you can't bear the thought of of suffocating your precious toesies.
Please, I am begging you. I used to think all those articles of clothing were cool and interesting, but now I can't escape them if I tried. Let's here it for a little originality. Please?
Mostly, I don't want to have to go to work anymore and stare at the carbon copy employees. Especially the one chick who chopped all her hair off just like mine. Grrrr. Chicka, I got my eye on you.
Anyways, please just change your clothes and wear something NORMAL!!
Sincerely,
Taylor (a free thinking individual dying to escape the brainwashing.)
PS: I feel like this video (the song which was introduced to me by an individual mentioned in the above letter) is reason enough to change. Hipsters, take heed!

New Home

2011-07-20T18:35:00.000-06:00

First things first.
I quit The Cleanse. It turns out that I am a bitter, angry, dangerous individual when I deprive myself of food. For the sake of Lance's safety and my own sanity, I quit last night. It was the best spaghetti I have ever eaten in my entire life. Thanks, Lance!

Second things second.
We moved! Well, it was 20 days ago but I'm writing about it now. I finally have the time. But no pictures. We're planning on doing a little virtual tour once the last of the pictures/shelves go up. Lance & I take our sweet time in home improvements. Everyone is happier that way.

Our new apartment is fabulous. Seriously. I loved our old place, but this apartment feels more like home to me. It's got a buttload of storage space. Love it! Washer & dryer. A must. A fireplace. Hell to the ya! Our little couch looks lovely in the spacious living room and the kitchen has a cute little window over the sink with a darling green covering. Once again, love it!

Stay posted for our virtual tour.

Lance is a charmer on camera.

You don't want to miss it.

The Cleanse

2011-07-18T18:36:00.000-06:00

Okay readers, here's the dealio.

This week, I'm doing The Cleanse.

It's hardcore. I'm only on Day 1.

I've eaten almost a whole carton of strawberries & a bunch of watermelon and cantaloupe.

Not to mention all the Crystal Light I've consume. We're pounding multiple gallons here.

I think it will be good though. I'm looking forward to Vegetable Day.

And Lance promised to do Chicken & Tomato Day with me because he's a sweetie.

All I have to do is distract myself & I'll be fine.

Been Waiting 10 Years

2011-07-15T13:51:00.004-06:00

Harry Potter & the Sorcerer's Stone

Harry Potter & the Chamber of Secrets

Harry Potter & the Prisoner of Azkaban

Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire

Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix

Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince

Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows

Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows Part 2

If I were a department store, I would be JC Penney.

2011-07-09T16:01:00.000-06:00

I freakin' love that place. I am never disappointed with my purchases.

My adorable sister-in-law, Maren, is getting married next month. So I went over to Old Faithful to see if they had any darling dresses in her colors that I could wear. I also took along my best shopping buddy, Sydney. She claims to have built up a shopping endurance (which I lack) since she went shopping with her mother while she was home. She keeps me going. Usually if I can't see what I want from the front of the store, I don't go in.

(Except when it comes to shoes.)

Anyways, Syd & I were browsing and we (Syd) found this delightful little number.

Originally, it cost $70. It was on sale for $30. The only one in my size had a little black smudge (nothing a wash/visit to the dry cleaner's can't handle) so they gave it to me for $19.99!!

I will take 72% off of adorable dresses any day.

Plus I (meaning Sydney...again) found a pair of fabulous heels. Used to be $60, mine for $10. Will the savings ever end??? I certainly hope not.

I love my job.

2011-06-27T11:48:00.000-06:00

My job that exhausts me. My job that haunts my dreams. My job that consumes so much of my life I rarely go out anymore. My job that drains me of all my energy. My job that robs me of my weekends and weeknights. My job that takes away any sense of schedule security.

My job that changes lives. My job that allows me to build relationships. My job that puts me out on the sports field every Saturday cheering on students. My job that confirms we all deserve second chances (or third, fourth, fifth, sixth...). My job that keeps life in perspective. My job that reminds me even small things can make a big difference. My job that promises hope in spite of regret; strength despite our weaknesses.

One Down...

2011-06-26T10:44:00.000-06:00

Two to go...

First Official Day of Summer!

2011-06-21T20:40:00.001-06:00

Lance & I spent it...

...sleeping in.

...exploring Spanish Fork.

...eating at a fabulous panini restaurant. Turkey Bacon Avocado anyone?

...swimming/water wrestling at Springville Community Pool.

...making & eating our weight in muddy buddies.

...doing math homework & watching Law & Order marathons.

...hopefully taking a romantic walk later on this evening.

No. We didn't take any pictures. Because we are THE WORST at remembering to take pictures. Seriously. Our children will have to believe us when we tell them what we did when we were first married because we have no documentation to prove it.

How did you celebrate the start of summer?

Thankfulness for my wonderful wife Taylor

2011-06-15T12:57:00.000-06:00

This is Lance speaking, and this is my first post since Taylor added me to her blog making it OUR blog. Taylor is easily one of the most amazing people I have ever had the opportunity to get to know in my life, and I have known a lot of great people. She is such a hard worker, and always goes the extra mile to make sure everything goes perfectly.

Last week I came home from a stressful day at work to see Taylor dressed up in an very fancy dress, she had made lasagna from scratch, and had baked a BTS cake. It was such a delicious meal, and so fun to get to spend time with her that night. After dinner and dessert we cuddled up, turned on Netflix (totally awesome by the way) and continued to traverse our way through "That 70's Show". We both are very fond of that show.

Taylor and I have recently discussed and found a new apartment closer to where we both work, so we were both pretty stressed out about having to move. We found a great place in Orem, and are so much closer to everything. Our new place does not come furnished so we ventured off to DI (Deseret Industries) and looked for some fun furniture. You will find some of the ugliest furniture ever created there, but we found a very nice and comfortable couch for $65. We were so excited about it! When we came back a few days later to purchase it, it was already bought by someone else and taken away. We were both pretty sad, that is until Taylor made the discovery of the century! For the low price of $35 she found this awesome black leather couch, with cherry red cushions lining it. There are leather straps on the arm rests holding pillows in place as well. The sales associate told us this was our lucky day, because someone had already bought the couch. We were very confused and thought he was off his rocker (if you know what I mean) but we gave him a chance to explain himself. I asked, "Why is it OUR lucky day?" He continued, "This couch was already bought, but the people never came to pick it up. So we just recently put this out on the floor a couple hours ago."Yeah, the couch is pretty handsome awkward, but extremely comfortable.

Back to the original thought I had... Taylor Elaine Smith Reeves is the most amazing and bestest companion I could have ever hoped for. I love her with all my heart, and will continue to do so forever. I love you Taylor!

-Lance Reeves

Loss

2011-06-13T18:50:00.001-06:00

Death.

The sweet release from pain. A promise of something better. Relief.

But not for those who are left behind.

Dear Peter,

I miss you. You were the kindest person I have ever met. You were so accepting of everyone you came across. You had every excuse to be angry, bitter or jaded. Yet you were none of those. I never heard you speak ill of others; not even of the jerks who hit you with their car.

When I think of the apartment, you are always there. I will miss walking in and seeing you curled up on the love seat wearing what I like to call your "trademark beanie". I remember being so intimidated the first time I met you last summer. Every time you talked about physics I tried really hard to understand but so much went over my head. You understood things beyond my grasp. I still have the origami flower & fish that you made. Thank you.

Lance & I will never forget how you were the first to tell us we were the perfect couple. It meant so much that you thought highly of us. We were so happy you were a part of wedding as well as our lives. I am grateful for the example you have left us. They don't make them like you anymore.

Even though I only knew you for a year, you have left a permanent mark on my heart & spirit. I know you are happier now. Pain-free, reunited, at peace. Don't forget us little people down here, k? We think about you every day. I hope the transition was easy. I worried about you. I hope you didn't feel like you were alone. I hope it was fast. I hope you know how much we all loved you. Everything feels a little weird without you here.

You are loved and you are missed.
Taylor

PS: Remember that one night you, me & Lance watched Gallipoli? I don't think I could ever forget that if I tried. Movie nights will never be the same.

Peter, Jason, Justin, Taylor & Lance

Just A Thought

2011-06-03T20:15:00.002-06:00

Dear Friends,

I consider all my readers friends because I try to be honest in my writing. Honest about life, about my opinions, about everything. Honest. Sometimes I'm not, but I try to be. Lately I have been afraid that I will be too honest and straightforward in my writing. I don't want to offend anyone because I think you're all awesome. For that reason I have been hesitant to post.

Well, that's only been one reason. The second reason is that I'm a bit bored with blogging. Maybe it's a phase, maybe it isn't. I like writing but being cute slash entertaining slash creative slash funnier & more interesting than other blogs has stopped interesting me.

So maybe, just maybe, this blog will come to an end.

I said maybe so nobody would freak out. But if one day you try to access this web address and it doesn't work, you'll know why. It's not because I don't love you all, but because I love you too much and don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. :)

Much love,
Taylor

Goo Goo for GaGa

2011-06-03T09:58:00.000-06:00

In our marriage, one of us is obsessed with Lady Gaga.

I won't tell you who; just know it's not me.

via

Lance & I have different tastes when it comes to the world of music.
I love anything with a good beat.
Except for Nickelback for Daughtry. I HATE HATE HATE those bands.
Lance is pretty vocal about his dislike for hiphop, pop, and anything auto-tuned.
He claims those artists have no real "musical talent".

This is where I disagree but I would love to hear what y'all think.

I think that these artists are still "musically talented", but in a different way than the artists he listens to. Maybe these hiphop, pop, or auto-tuned artists can't do insane guitar solos or don't know how to work a drum set. However, they obviously understand how all these elements combine together to create a song and they use that skill and understanding to their advantage. In my book, that counts as "musical talent".

Besides, I love a good synchronizer. I grew up on 80s music; what do you expect?

So what do you think?

Are artists like Lady GaGa/Katy Perry/Jason Derulo/Bruno Mars/etc "musically talented"?

2011-06-01T12:51:00.000-06:00

Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow."

Maryanne Radmacher

MS + TR + JM + BM = :D!!

2011-05-31T01:50:00.000-06:00

Apparently I only have the time to blog during obscure hours of the night while Lance sleeps away. Poor guy. Working all day and rejecting social opportunities because he's in such high demand just wears a guy out.

I have so much to talk about it. Where to start.

How about with BRUNO MARS!!!

Hells ya.

(Pardon me swearing. I'm just that stoked!)

For Madison's birthday I got her tickets to the Bruno Mars concert at the UCCU Events Center (UVU's version of the Marriott Center). What could be possibly be a better present than one the giver benefits directly from? Madison is such a fun person to concert with. Yes, it is now a verb.

Concert: (v) the action of attending concerts, smashing up against a group of very sweating strangers, screaming lyrics at the top of one's lungs, buying & wearing tour tees, and having a blast while listening to awesome music.

Truth be told I'm not much of a concert person. Or at least I thought I wasn't. I don't particularly enjoy being around so many people who are pushing and shoving. But for some reason this concert was different. It probably had everything to do with Madison being there with me. Everything is better when you laugh about having to dislocate your shoulder so you can put your hands in the air and wave 'em like you just don't care.

So Mr. Mars was amazing, but I personally enjoyed Janelle Monae. Talk about an entertainer. She's like a female Michael Jackson crossed with Rihanna with a twist! I was floored.

And I wish I could have her hair.

It was a fabulous experience! There were many memorable moments.

-Running through security and down countless stairs to ensure we got the best places possible.

-Climbing over crowd control railings to escape the mob of fans (not our unfortunately).

-Spending our life savings on drinks.

-Madison & a bunch of pre-teen girls trying to get a glimpse of Bruno leaving his tour bus.

It was a wonderful way to celebrate Memorial Day, Madison's birthday, and our one month anniversary.

Just Breathe

2011-05-24T03:14:00.000-06:00

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song

If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,

Threatening the life it belongs to.

Okay, it's not 2AM, it's 3.

And I'm not writing a song because it's threatening my life. I'm so wound up I can't sleep and that song is on loop in my brain. Thanks, Anna Nalick. You're pretty decent company since my hubbie is snoozing peacefully in the next room.

I don't know why I can't sleep. I mean, it's 3AM. I was exhausted the whole day long. When I got off my shift at 10:30 all I could think about was my head hitting my extremely fluffy pillow. But we pulled up to our home and suddenly I was awake enough to watch The Patriot in it's entirety, tuck Lance into bed, right a letter of complaint to a company we went to this morning and now blog.

Did that letter of complaint catch your attention? Yeah, I still can't believe I did that. Cross that off my bucket list! My experience there this morning was slightly offensive and I don't think a company who's main purpose is to help troubled teens should be projecting that sort of image. So in an attempt to be a more assertive person, I took matters into my own hands. Do companies respond when you write them about your grievances? Part of me hopes so.

Can I just say that I absolutely LOVE my job. Seriously folks! I work as an on call youth counselor and I have been picking up shifts like a mad woman! And I love every moment of it! If I could pick up more hours a week, I totally would. It's hard to explain, but when I'm there I feel like I am a part of something really meaningful. Something more important than my problems and certainly more important than my paycheck. I love the kids there. All of them. Even the ones who find it hard to love themselves. There is something so invigorating about working with people who are discovering themselves. I know I am there to teach them about how to process their feelings and interact appropriately with others, but I feel like I am the one who comes out with more knowledge at the end of the day. Strange how life can be like that, huh? I think it's absolutely wonderful.

In other news, the last of our Thank You notes are going out tomorrow. Can I hear a "Hallelujah!" from the choir please? I am so glad to have that final wedding item checked off our list. Our little home is adorable. Pictures and maybe even a virtual tour to come soon, I promise. Madison came over last week and helped me unpack and organize the kitchen. I love it!

The weather is still acting totes bipolar. Although today's rain was lovely. It was warmer than it has been the past week. I absolutely love the smell of warm rain. Not to mention the added bonus of a bit of humidity. Another "Hallelujah!" please?

Yes, that is what is going on in my life right now. Lance would tell you that his days are spent working on a math class, working, and sleeping through movies. Oh how the roles have changed from when we first started dating. I was the one always snoozing. I should reclaim that responsibility.

Feeling Incredibly Homesick

2011-05-22T13:30:00.002-06:00

Finally, A Post!

2011-05-16T22:23:00.000-06:00

I honestly haven't felt like writing/blogging much lately.

Lance & I have been so busy unpacking, making returns, cursing the employees at the returns counter, throwing away an insane amount of cardboard boxes, working, picking up endless pieces of tiny little plastic shreds, working, moving furniture around, working, buying cute food storage containers, laughing, working, watching Netflix, working, and having so much fun.

Also, did I mention working? Because we've both been doing a lot of it.

Thankfully.

I am grateful that we both have jobs.

Even if today I was told there is a chance I could die at work.

No biggie.

Not to suddenly change the subject on everyone but I put up more wedding photos and pictures from our honeymoon cruise to Mexico if you'd like to check them out. I've undergone a drastic hair change. Prepare yourself.

Big Changes Coming Soon!

2011-05-15T16:46:00.000-06:00

Expect a blog re-vamp in the near future. :)

But for now, enjoy a couple of wedding pictures courtesy of Justin Reeves Photography.

Tomorrow, tomorrow! I love you; tomorrow!

2011-04-29T21:25:00.002-06:00

You're only a day away!

Confession. Lance & I already took our wedding pictures and I am dying to post a couple of them BUT I am resisting. You will all have to wait until our awesome photographer makes them all lovely before you get to see the beauts.

Do I have cold feet? No, but I do have butterflies like crazy. I was fine the whole day, but just a couple of minutes ago they started flapping their crazy wings and now I wonder if I will ever be able to go to sleep.

It seems unreal that tomorrow this momentuous life event is actually going to be happening to me. I can hardly believe that Lance & I are going to be sealed as a couple for all eternity.

No, I don't have cold feet. But yes, I am a little bit nervous.

Lance & I have known each other for 11 months. And I can't wait to spend the rest of my life getting to know him better. I just hope he can put up with the clogged sinks, burnt bacon, mild OCD, emotional rants, lame jokes (although they pale in comparison to his puns), general disdain of video games, Saipan style driving skills, piles and piles of blankets, and the rather constant complaint of less than balmy temperatures.

If he can, I think we'll be set for forever.

Who knows, I might even end up loving shrimp.

Valentines 2011

Ahhhh

2011-04-27T18:20:00.000-06:00

A quiet room, my feet up, and my favorite show on TV.

All that is missing is Lance & a big bowl of popcorn.

That One Time I Graduated

2011-04-27T09:18:00.000-06:00

The day started off wonderfully. We all went to the Timpanogus Temple as a family for the first time ever to do Baptisms for the Dead together. It was a wonderful experience.

Then I graduated! Thankfully I ran into the best co-TA that ever existed. Caitlin and I TA-ed for the psych writing class this past semester and had a blast!

My favorite thing about this picture (besides everything) is that I was crying and you can't tell that I have cry eyes. VICTORY!

Borrowed This From A Friend

2011-04-25T21:16:00.001-06:00

But ultimately there comes a moment when a decision must be made. Ultimately two people who love each other must ask themselves how much they hope for as their love grows and deepens, and how much risk they are willing to take...It is indeed a fearful gamble...Because it is the nature of love to create, a marriage itself is something which has to be created, so that, together we become a new creature.

To marry is the biggest risk in human relations that a person can take...If we commit ourselves to one person for life this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession, but participation...It takes a lifetime to learn another person...When love is not possession, but participation, then it is part of that co-creation which is our human calling, and which implies such risk that it is often rejected.

-Madeleine L'Engle, The Irrational Season

Thanks, Megan!

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

2011-04-23T18:44:00.000-06:00

My Child Psychopathology professor would share several deep thoughts by Jack Handey at the start of every class. When I first heard this one, I laughed so hard that I was still laughing when the rest of the class had stopped. He then asked me if I was going to be alright.

In memory of that class.

He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married her. But when he kissed her, she disintegrated. Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said, "Dust to dust," some people laughed, and the cowboy shot them. At his hanging he told the others, "I'll be waiting for you in heaven--with a gun."

This is the face

2011-04-19T17:12:00.000-06:00

Of someone who

Is exhausted but successfully finished finals.

Can't wait to see her family in 2 hours.

Has a job.

Graduates in 3 days.

Gets married to her best friend in 11 days.

Still has a crazy amount of organizing and packing to conquer.

Probably needs a shower.

Wants to detox with an NCIS marathon. (C'mon USA, make that dream come true!)

Is so very happy.

Blessings

2011-04-18T14:48:00.001-06:00

You are looking at the newest employee at Heritage Schools.

Days like today remind me that I have so much to be grateful for.

As many of my regular readers may remember, the last time I went job hunting it was quite the ordeal. I was so nervous about finding a post-graduation job I could really enjoy. Something related to my major (psychology) and something that impacts and changes lives.

Yeah, I know that's a lot to ask for but I've got high expectations for "real life".

This blessing begins last Tuesday, when I was introducing Madison to people at my soon-to-be old job. One of the lovely gals suggested that I check out Heritage Schools. I was so desperate for anything besides Old Navy or Burger King that I immediately went online, checked it out, and found a job that was only open for 2 more days. Without anything to lose, I sent in an application. Almost immediately I got a response email asking me to come in the next morning for an interview.

Hallelujah.

After a considerable amount of stressing the night before, I showed up at the interview looking spectacular in the outfit Lance bought me for my birthday. Dress to impress, right? At the end of the interview, I was asked to return that night for work experience and a second interview.

To make a long story short, I loved the work experience. Although it was hard, I honestly enjoyed every minute of it. I love working with people, especially teenagers. It was fun to get to know some of the girls better and get my feet wet. This was what I want to do! I left the second interview hopeful and excited.

And then came the long weekend. I spent Thursday & Friday working up in SLC with Lance. When I wasn't trying to persuade people to try brown rice, I was silently praying I would get the job and stressing over what I would do if I didn't. I heard nothing all weekend.

Nerve wracking.

Come Monday. I arrive at work and Chris and Kathy told me Heritage had called to ask for references. Good sign, right? I wanted to think so. But I didn't want to get my hopes up too high. The hours tick by. Each time my phone rings, my heart jumps to my throat and my stomach does gymnastics. Nothing from them though. I call Lance on the way to a final and vent my stresses out.

I take my final. And rock it, if I do say so myself. I'm on cloud nine. I check my phone. A voicemail from a number I don't recognize. This is it. This is the moment I have been anticipating for 5 days. I check it. "Hi Taylor, this is McKaye from Hertiage Schools. Please give me a call when you get the chance." They don't usually ask you to call them back if they aren't offering you the job, right?

Right.

I call her back immediately. I'm still in the Testing Center. All the students studying in the hallway witnessed my excited jumps and fist pumps. There were a lot of them. I call Lance and practically scream the good news. And cry a little.

Seriously.

I am so blessed. I got the job I wanted; not only does it have to do with my major, but I love it and it works perfectly with Lance's work schedule. This means that we'll be able to spend our mornings together and our Christmas trip to Saipan is looking more and more realistic.

I start May 9, the Monday after we get back from our awesome honeymoon cruise.

Right now I am sitting in my room in my pjs, listening to music and smiling from ear to ear.

I am so very, very blessed.

Have a Magnificent Monday!

2011-04-18T09:24:00.002-06:00

This is it.

This is my last Monday EVER as a BYU student.

It's magnificent.

Please excuse the disaster of a room the background is. I am in the middle of packing. It is not so magnificent.

I love

2011-04-13T13:19:00.000-06:00

The idea of yellow walls and blue counter tiles in my future kitchen.

A Very Merry Unbirthday

2011-04-11T09:13:00.000-06:00

Last Sunday (8 days ago) was my 21st birthday. It was a wonderful birthday; the best I've had to date.

1. General Conference. I am one of those lucky people whose birthday usually falls close to Conference Weekend. It just makes the whole weekend awesome. A spiritual high combined with pajama lounging is the bomb dot com.

2. My adorable roommates. Even though I spent the entity of the weekend at the Reeves or out running errands with Madison (we found a fabulous wedding outfit for her), they still celebrated my birthday. Sarah made the most delicious chocolate cake I have ever tasted (no joke, it was the best!) and dedicated the roommate whiteboard to me. I love those girls.

3. Not every girl is as lucky as I am. Lance has amazing taste. I scored big time there. He's always so cute about it too. He bought me a black pencil skirt and a beautiful green floral shirt. Sorry ladies, but he's no longer on the market.

4. Madison got me my very first casual blazer! We also had dinner together (Dad's spaghetti & salad) but we are really bad at remembering to take photos. :( Lamesauce. I think my favorite part of my birthday was when the family called. Dad & Carter left me a voicemail song. Harrison called and we spoke for 20 minutes (according to mom that is 19 minutes and 30 seconds longer than they talk to him) and Mom & Dad called and talked to me and Lance.

5.. Girls night. This is my first time going, but Girls Night is a tradition the Reeves family has. When all the men go off to watch Priesthood Session of General Conference, all the girls get together and the creative juices start flowing. My juices got a little clogged up, but thankfully with the help of Katie I managed to design a sash for an oversized t-shirt and it actually turned out pretty cute if you ask me. Unfortunately if I tie it wrong I start to look a little bit preggo so I gotta be careful.

Yes yes, all in all it was a wonderful weekend.

Duh, Winning!

2011-04-10T17:38:00.002-06:00

Do you remember how I entered the giveaway contest for that awesome necklace??

I WON!!!

Basically this is the happiest day of my life.

No, I'm not joking.

I can't wait to wear it. For reals.

Thank you so much, Sarah!

Also, let me introduce you to my new computer.

I am one happy lady.

Thank you Mom & Dad!!

A Bad Habit

2011-04-08T10:33:00.001-06:00

Lance & I have this terrible habit of continually telling each other the same stories.

At first we used to listen politely.

Then we used to tell the other person, Hey, you've told me this awesome, hilarious, and insightful story before but that's okay because I love listening to you talk.

Now we just start telling our repeated stories the second the other person finishes theirs.

Taylor: Madison & I were watching TV when we noticed Carter wasn't in the room and when we found him he had colored himself green with a marker to look like the Hulk and when we put him in the tub, the water turned the color of Windex!

Lance: Man, Pineapple Express is a great movie. I don't like Seth Rogen but James Franco is hilarious.

Weeks, days, or even hours later:

Lance: Man, Pineapple Express is a great movie. I don't like Seth Rogen but James Franco is hilarious.

The worst part is that I honestly don't remember that I have already told Lance the story.

Some stories, though, are worth the retelling.

The Worst Day Ever

(No, this is not an exaggeration.)

This day started off promising. It was the summer of 2006 and we were visiting family in the States. This very day happened to be the opening day of Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and Grandpa Smith had bought tickets for me, Madison, Harrison, Uncle Rob & himself. Unfortunately, we arrived at the movie theater late so when we walked in during the middle of the trailers, it was dark and the room was packed. There was no way we were going to find 5 seats next to each other. Every man for himself! Grandpa was the first to find his seat. I eventually found a seat in the very back of the theater next to some punk kid who picked his nose the whole time and his friend who had to get up and crawl over me 3 times to go to the bathroom. It is safe to say that to this day I still have no idea what happened during the movie.

After that adventure ended, we drove to a favorite restaurant to have dinner with the rest of the family. We sat down, ordered our food, and then I had the overwhelming urge to use the bathroom (it had started during the movie but on principle I wasn't about to crawl over anyone in the middle of a movie). Once in the bathroom, I was horrified to discover that I had started my period hours before and my awesome orange shorts weren't so orange anymore. Panic attack. I quickly walked back out to the table trying not to move my legs from the knees up so no one would notice. I whispered my embarrassing situation into Mom's ear. She quickly handed me Harrison's sweatshirt to tie around my waist and excused herself. Once she came back she tried to subtly hand me the feminine hygiene product without anyone noticing and I nonchalantly got up and went back into the bathroom. I'm pretty sure everyone knew what was going on. After all, who walks around wearing a sweatshirt tied around their waist on their own free will?

After dinner, we headed back to Grandpa's apartment and took an impromptu hike. Maybe everyone really didn't know what was going on. At this point the cramps started; they were painful. But we persevered on this hike. We finally reached our destination and it started to rain. We hiked the remainder of the hike in a steady drizzle. There were blisters on my feet from my inappropriate hiking shoes. My hair was soaking wet. I still had that sweatshirt tied around my waist. It felt like my insides were imploding. And we still had about a 30 minute drive back to where we were staying. That refreshing, hot, soothing shower seemed an eternity away.

The good news is that I survived it all. And it has now become a funny memory, void of any bitterness or emotional pain. And whenever things don't go my way, I simply remind myself that I can get through anything that life throws in my direction. Period.

Not everyone is as lucky as I am to have their worst day documented like I do.

Oh. My. Gosh.

2011-04-07T09:53:00.000-06:00

You are not going to believe this story I am about to tell you.
But believe me, it is 100% true.

I was in one of my classes yesterday, hanging out before the bell rang. Yes, I am a nerd to has nothing to do in between class (or seriously lacks the motivation to be productive). Anyways, the guy in my group comes in, but he's exhausted because he was up all night writing another 10 page research paper for one of his history classes.

Cue Harmony (names have been changed to protect the not so innocent). We were in the same freshman ward but were never friends. Polite, but definitely not friends. (Translation: we only ever talk to each other if we absolutely have to.)

After being shot down by a rather pissed off and exhausted James, she turns to me--the only other person in the room. The conversation goes a little like this.

H: When are you getting married?
T: April 30th. 24 days!
H: That is so exciting. Julie (a girl in our class) is getting married right after the semester. On the 23rd I think.
T: That's neat. I'm graduating so I needed a break. No way I was going to take finals, move out of my apartment, graduate, and then get married the next day.
H: Yeah...where are you getting married?
T: The Oquirrh Mountain Temple.
H: Is his family from there?
T: He's from Lindon, but I just absolutely love the Oquirrh Mountain Temple.
H: The problem with the Oquirrh Mountain Temple is that it's so far away. I never go to the temple to see people get married unless it's close.

Whoa, whoa whoa. "The problem with the Oquirrh Mountain Temple"?! Excuse me?

T: It's not a big deal to me if a lot of people are at the temple. I just want my family there; that's all who is really important. But I know it's a big deal for some people to have a lot of people there.
H: It was a big deal to me.
T: Yeah, I know.

The conversation ended there. She rambled on about all the things she would change about her wedding and I stopped pretending to politely listen.

What I really wanted to do was kick her.
Or at least rip her sequin flower out of her hair and stomp on it.

There is nothing wrong with this temple.

via

"Hey, Friend."

2011-04-07T09:22:00.001-06:00

I say this to Lance all the time.
I don't even remember where or when or why it started.
But it stuck and I like it.
I think he likes it too...at least that's what he tells me.
So it's definitely not going anywhere anytime soon.

I have a lot of catching up to do in the blog world. And I kind of don't want to shove it all into one crazy long post. Each event deserves special attention in my opinion. And pictures of course. Although it turns out Lance and I are really bad at taking pictures. Our bad. We'll work on that, promise.

23 DAYS.

I am so excited! I'm excited because school be over. (So long, undergrad!) My family will be here. I'll be marrying the man of my dreams. The opportunities and possibilities are endless. I am excited for what life has in store.

Honestly, I haven't always been. I've been quite nervous. Career-wise, I want it to be 10 years down the road. I want us to be established, living on our own, degrees finished, and financially stable. Relationship-wise though, I want it to stand still. I don't want to take Lance for granted. I'm not looking forward to our disagreements. I am looking forward to being together, decorating our cute basement apartment, no more curfew, and putting a ring on his finger.

Our first picture together.
Please ignore Lance's creepy red eye and my unwashed hair and teenage skin.

Our most recent picture together.
At Red Robin with Van & Christian Rider & Madison.

Cutest Kids On The Block

2011-04-01T09:06:00.001-06:00

Try, Try Again

2011-03-31T09:16:00.000-06:00

I haven't won a giveaway yet, but I've got a good feeling about this one. :)

I follow this blog, A Lost Feather. This is the blog that inspired my 100 goals post. Basically, if I could have a blog that I wanted mine to be like, it would be hers. It's so creative and her pictures are gorgeous. While I do enjoy a good fashion blog, it's nice to see this side of creativity in people. It's inspiring, especially to someone who forgot to get into the artistic line in heaven.

Anyways, she's doing a giveaway because she opened her own jewelry line! Cool huh?

Also, it was her golden birthday. Happy Birthday, Sarah!

[This makes me feel like a creeper that I know all this about her.

I suppose that comes from being an avid blog reader.]

Check out this beaut:

The Sun Showers necklace

Don't you just love it??

Yeah, me too.

Pretty sure I'm going to be dreaming about it.

You'd Better Believe It

2011-03-29T09:57:00.001-06:00

I've been waiting to post about this until I could utilize some semblance of a humorous tone.
Pretty sure this is as good as it's going to get.
Brace yourself.

My computer crashed.
Went up in flames and brought down my sanity with it.
Tripped just before the finish line.
Ka-blouie!

My reaction to this horrible, horrible, life-altering event was...nothing.
There's been no meltdown.
Not even a curse word muttered under my breath.
This worries me.
In the same way that being stressed because I'm not stressed about a huge exam worries me.

This has got to be the calm before the storm.
Because let me tell you what.
I have
2 research papers
9 other writing assignments
1 final exam to write and
1 huge presentation to prepare.

Say what? It's going to continue to snow and be freezing cold all the time?
You're still going to be all phlegm-y from the virus you had last week?
What?
You gave the virus to Lance so now he's sick and you can't see him because you don't have a car?
Oh my.
Hang on, it gets better.
You burnt all the peanut butter cookies you made Sunday afternoon?
You got in trouble at work for a mistake that someone else made?
You can't find your USB drive that had all the information for the papers you needed to write as well as assignments you needed to print off and bring to class?
You still don't have a job and graduation is coming up fast?
Despite going to bed at reasonable hours you still feel exhausted?

Yes.
The answer to every single one of those questions is yes.

And yet, I
Ran into Madison and laughed about my life
Talked about relationships with Sydney while inhaling a burger and fries
Drove for the first time by myself in the states and loved it
Used the public access computers at the Provo Library
Pumped gas successfully on my own
Made an ask-for-the-recipe-worthy lasagna (yum!)
Still managed to blog (even if it was just posts that were already in the works)
Found out my hardest classes are offering a bunch of life-saving extra credit assignments
Got my nails done by Michele (loves 'em!)
Watched an NCIS marathon while figuring out how to successfully conquer the final stretch of the semester without a computer

Whether or not the meltdown comes, I am going to be just fine.

90's Heartthrob

2011-03-28T18:05:00.001-06:00

Mark Zuckerberg Technology Forum

2011-03-28T11:33:00.001-06:00

via

Bravo, BYU couples.

Only you would dare to make out during Mark Zuckerberg's forum.

Keep living the dream.

I Can't Be Someone I'm Not

2011-03-25T16:29:00.001-06:00

A while back I wrote this post.

As is typical with anything having to do with losing weight, I got a lot of really sweet comments telling me I'm already beautiful the way I am and how I shouldn't buy a dress I want to fit into but rather one I already fit into.Thankfully I got the kind of dress that laces up so it'll fit regardless (nifty, I tell you).

And some comments knocking on Princess Diana.
Which are fine, everyone is entitled to their opinion, even if I disagree.

[BUT THAT WASN'T THE POINT OF THE POST.]

Here's the dealio: I am not a health nut.
I am not a fitness nut.
If anything, I am a self-indulging, eat-what-tastes-and-looks-good nut.

I do not enjoy counting calories, carbs, or fats.
I do not enjoy depriving myself of something that tastes delicious.
I do not enjoy forcing myself into an exercise routine (but I do like exercising).

I thank my parents every day for the skinny genes they gave me.
When I say "skinny" I mean healthy with wildly desirable curves (aka, childbearing hips).

As with all things in life, moderation is key.
I feel that is true when it comes to dieting, eating, exercising, and self criticism.

I have this nasty hunch that if I keep worrying about my body and depriving myself of foods I enjoy and forcing myself into exercise programs, I am never going to be satisfied with how I am right now.
I might even start to hate myself.

I am healthy.
I am beautiful.
I care about my body.

I believe that your body is a physical manifestation of what is going on inside.
The best way for me to maintain a healthy spirit/psyche is to be balance.

No more extremes.
I am going to eat foods that are good for me.
I am going to eat foods that are less-healthy-but-still-good for my soul.
I am going to be physically active without any rules.
I am going to cut myself a massive break.

I am going to love myself.
And continue to love myself.
No matter what comes my way.

Code: Psych Central

2011-03-25T15:34:00.001-06:00

And we all know what that means.

Some good news: I don't actually have strep. Can I hear a "Hallelujah!"? However, that means it's just a nasty virus and no amount of medication can destroy it. Thankfully sleep can. And in the past 24 hours I've gotten a whole lot of it. And I feel good!

Anyways, I have a super cool friend who confessed that she stalks my blog, so I'm writing this post for her.
PS: Whenever anyone tells me that they read my blog, I get all kinds of happy on the inside.

Obviously, before I write this dedicated post, I should introduce my friend. This is only picture I could find of me and Alyssa together. Between the bangs and the multi-colored bobbles, we make quite the inseperable pair. Don't let this picture decieve you, we're actually great friends; regardless of the number of Primary children that come between us.

Anyways, today as I was walking through the JKB in a desperate attempt to avoid the torture of Utah weather, I ran into Alyssa. I like running into Alyssa because I usually spot her first which gives me the upper hand when it comes to initiating purposely awkward greetings.

[Okay, now the actual post topic can start.]

I am taking a marriage prep course this semester. It is awesome. I enjoy it more than the marriage prep Sunday school class I have to take in my ward. Probably because the class is open to anyone who is interested so we have actual discussions and differing viewpoints instead of forced conversation and couples getting lost in each others eyes. Also, the teacher is funnier and more willing to discuss conversations that the Bishop's wife doesn't want brought up.

One of the reasons my marriage prep class is so great is this guy, who I nick-named Marriage Prep Boy. He says the most random things that I just love/hate hearing. Here are just a few of his many gems.

My fiance is obsessed with Facebook. Seriously, guys. The "About Me" section really works!
[When discussing rubbing salt into your spouse's wound out of spite] It's like stubbing your toe and because it hurts you cut off your entire foot.
My fiance and I went up to Idaho to visit her Mission President. We talked until it was really late so we spent the night...IN SEPARATE ROOMS!

I am trying not to mock people quite as much, but whenever anyone brings Facebook into a discussion about finding your eternal companion and entering into an exalting covenant, I reserve the right to mock.

And suddenly, I am tired of blogging. So I am finishing this post without a real purpose. Honestly, I just like that picture and wanted a reason to post it. Also, Paint as this new crayon application I wanted to try out. :)

My Throat is Sore & My Head Aches

2011-03-23T11:00:00.000-06:00

Music means different things to different people at different times in their lives.

Today, this piece of music really spoke to me.

And I'm going to let it do all the talking.

Wedding To Do List

2011-03-22T16:40:00.002-06:00

With (drum roll, please!) 39 days to go, I eat, breathe, sleep wedding details.

Or at least I wish I did. Most of the stuff has been taken care of or delegated (hallelujah!), so my to do list isn't very long at all. It's all the fun stuff though; so I definitely don't mind.

Before this, I never had any idea what went into a wedding. Check out the list below. It's from a BYU wedding magazine and has been quite helpful in keep this wedding organized and on schedule.

4 MONTHS
~~Set date, time & place~~
~~Schedule time for sealing & endowment~~
~~Figure out budget & decide who is paying for what~~
~~Decide on theme & colors~~
~~Select and reserve a place for the reception~~
~~Choose photographer~~
~~Take engagement pictures~~
~~Find dress~~
~~Select and reserve a place for the luncheon~~
~~Start to gather guest lists & addresses~~
~~Decide who you want at the temple sealing & luncheon~~
~~Ask fathers to be witnesses at the sealing~~
~~Discuss finances, transportation, education, long & short term plans~~
~~Schedule temple recommend interview~~
3 MONTHS
~~Pick out & order announcements~~
~~Order wedding cake~~
~~Meet with florist~~
~~Pick out decorations~~
~~Find tux store~~
~~Schedule reception music~~
~~Choose groom's ring (it's awesome, by the way)~~
~~Plan honeymoon & make reservations~~
2 MONTHS
~~Start addressing announcements~~
~~Register at 2 or 3 stores~~
~~Pick out pictures for reception slide show~~
~~Find a place to live (love it!)~~
~~Decide on "Thank You" favors~~
~~Make pre-marital check up appointment~~
~~Shop for veil, comfortable wedding shoes & jewelry (breaking in the shoes as we blog)~~
6 WEEKS
~~Send announcements~~
~~Make hair appointment~~
Trial run for hair style
~~Decide on luncheon menu & reception food~~
1 MONTH
Get marriage license
~~Schedule make up appointment~~
Pick up gown
2 WEEKS
Follow up on reservations: florist, photographer, cake, reception music & honeymoon acommodations
Have groom get a hair cut
~~Pick a get away out (I had a dream about mine last night...)~~
~~Buy cake knife, server & guestbook~~
1 WEEK
Get manicure & pedicure
Pack for honeymoon
Pick up tuxedo
Take bridal pictures

This list is so inclusive it even outlines the wedding day and after the honeymoon.

THE BIG DAY
Eat light breakfast
Go to hair & make up appointments
Be at temple with specified
Don't forget marriage license, temple recommends, rings & wedding dress
Take survival kit: needle & thread, extra bobby pins, safety pins, bottle of water, etc
AFTER HONEYMOON
Change name on license, SS card & school records
Change insurance coverage
Change address
Write "Thank You" notes

Little Things

2011-03-21T19:56:00.002-06:00

I have been battling with my computer for the last hour & a half.

It hates me, to say the least.

However, I have emerged triumphant. Kudos to me.

(Yes, I did just pat myself on the back, thank you very much.)

We all know it's the little things in life that keep us sane. Today I dedicated myself to little things. And it had a much bigger impact than I ever thought. All in all, I ended up only skipping out on a hour of work and one class. Not too shabby of a price for my sanity, eh?

I don't have much time. Gotta hop in the shower and cook up some dinner before Lance gets off work. You'd think we're already married or something. If only... But I don't want to leave you completely empty handed, so here's an up close and personal look of some of the little things in life that have kept me sane.

PS: The shower's clogged...maybe that's my next [not so] little thing?

Teach Me How To Jimmer

2011-03-18T10:22:00.002-06:00

Growing up, Dad only cared about 2 teams, Texas and Illinois. He started paying more attention to BYU once I applied and was accepted, but even then we only watched games if there was literally nothing else to do. And by watching games, I mean it was on but chances were no one was sitting in front of the TV or really paying attention.

Last night the BYU v. Wofford game was on TV. My roommate was watching it and left it on when she went to dinner group. I had been in the kitchen and sat down to see what was going on. I lasted all of 3.2 seconds before I got up and went to go clean my room. It was a close game, but I just couldn't get into it. I never have been able to.

This has never been an issue in my life. Then I met Lance. The Reeves are huge sports fans. I remember the first time I went over to their house they were dropping names and talking stats and I sat there without a clue to what they were talking about. Baseball? Basketball? Football? It was all so beyond me.

After months of listening and stats updates, I'm a little more clued in. But just barely. Take me to a game (preferably basketball or volleyball) and I will be cheering along with the fanatics. But sit me in front of a TV and my mind wanders, my legs grow antsy and chance are I will end up taking a nap.

I'll keep watching games with you, Lance. As long as you don't mind a cuddle buddy who is fast asleep and maybe even drooling a little bit.

Terrified

2011-03-17T16:27:00.000-06:00

I am about to tell you a moving story. It involves many miles walked in stylish high heels and endless reams of paper that sacrificed themselves for environmentally unfriendly resumes.

Once upon a time there was a girl. She was employed; but this employment enslaved her to a wardrobe of black shirts tucked into black pants under black vests. She was expected to balance 8 plates full of food and successfully deliver those dinners to the starving, often impatient people whose eyes could burn grotesque holes into your soul. The shifts were long and oftentimes she walked home after midnight in freezing temperatures lugging an over-sized backpack. She was also expected to sacrifice all hygiene in the dish room. One night as she was scraping particularly gross refried beans out of the serving container, she decided she was going to quit.

But she couldn't quit. Not until she found another job. So she started looking. She spent hours tailoring her resume, filling out applications, stalking the student employment office. Those hours turned into days. She got a request for an interview! AN INTERVIEW!! She was pumped. She went to the interview, talked about herself, made friends with the interviewer and next thing she knew, she had a second interview. Cha-ching! She went to the interview again, feeling pretty good about life. And then she waited. And waited. And one day she got a phone call. "I'm sorry, we've filled the position with someone else. Thank you for your time." Ouch. Sucker punch to the ovaries.

She couldn't give up though. She started the process again. Application, application, application. Interview, interview, interview. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Now she was getting really upset. Meltdown, meltdown, meltdown. She applied for a job that sounded mediocre, went to the interview wearing denim slacks, and thought nothing would come of it as she walked out the door. 3 days later, she received her call on the way back from yet another interview. "How soon can you start? We'd love to hire you." She cried; this time the good kind.

Two months, countless resumes and 17 interviews later, she had landed the best, most flexible job on campus. And she's been there ever since. Only now, she's graduating. And the thought of starting the physically and emotionally exhausting job hunt again is almost too much to bear. But she has to. She must. Because in 5 weeks she will no longer have the comfort of job security. She will no longer be able to hide under the title of "student". It's time to get a real job.

Help.

45 Days

2011-03-16T08:48:00.002-06:00

via

No soda

Exercise regularly (Couch to 5k 3 times a week)

No eating after 6PM

All this so that I might be as glorious as Princess Diana on my wedding day.

Epics

2011-03-14T09:02:00.001-06:00

This weekend Lance decided it was about time I watch some of the Epics from the past couple of decades. You know, all the movies that my friends watched in 10th grade and I never had a clue what they were talking about.

[Who lets their tenth-grader watch rated R movies, by the way?]

Here is the criteria for an Epic

1. Related to some historical event (preferably a war or revolution)

2. At least one motivational speech [see criteria 1]

3. Lance & Jason recommend everyone should see it

4. Taylor bawls her eyes out

This is what we've watched so far.

Any other suggestions?

Hazardous

2011-03-11T15:25:00.002-07:00

Once again I am in Psych Central.

Which means it's Bloggin' Time!

(Stimulating my creative juices because I got major paper revisions to tackle.)

In today's issue, we'll be discussing the 11th floor water fountain in the SWKT.

via

See how lovely that water flows? See how high it's squirting out of the facet?

See how the drinker doesn't have to bend it all the way down?

See it?

This is not how the 11th floor water fountain works.

I am scared that I am going to get mono from the drinking fountain.

Because let's face it, in order to successfully be a psychology major, one has to be a little bit odd.

A little bit loose; a little bit open to the idea of experimentation.

A little bit out there.

Our drinking fountain is a serious hazard.

The water barely trickles out.

Drinking without lip contact requires expertise knowledge and spacial skills.

Skills that I only have some days.

I'm Awkward & Awesome

2011-03-10T09:13:00.001-07:00

I have to admit, this is catchier/funnier than I originally thought it would be...

[AWKWARD]
1. Binder paper cuts. Those suckers hurt like H-E-Double Hockey Sticks. For reals.
2. Being in the bathroom the same time as someone else...usually I hide in the stall until they leave. I don't want to make polite conversation over the sink. Bathroom time = alone time.
3. Getting all kinds of sweaty doing a 5 minute ab ripper workout.
4. My hair. If I let it air dry it's this disaster of curly/wavy/frizziness that cannot be controlled, no matter how great the hairspray.

[AWESOME]
1. Lance & I booked our hotel rooms for April 30 & May 1.
2. I ordered my cap & gown & tassel!! Whoo hoo!!
3. Today is the first day I don't feel absolutely exhausted this week!
4. The weather is supposed to be in the 60s. HALLE-FRICKEN-LUJAH!
5. I'm getting my bike tires fixed, which means I will have a mode of transportation besides my feet & Lance's car.
6. 51 days until THE DAY.
7. Lance doesn't work Saturday, which means I get to spend the whole day with him and we are going to explore Springville/hunt for potential post-graduation jobs.
8. Tomorrow is pay day...seriously, it can't come soon enough.
9. Well-established bloggers commenting/following my blog. That just makes my day like none other.
10. Shaved legs that stay smooth...I love the warm weather.
11. I'm pretty sure Jimmer & I are graduating from the same college. Pretty sure.
12. Talking on the phone with my parents; even if it's brief. I love them.
13. The fact that my awesome list is over 3 times as long as my awkward list!

100 Goals

2011-03-09T20:16:00.004-07:00

I got my inspiration from this lovely blog, A Lost Feather. I like it & can't wait for everything to slowly be crossed off.

1. Graduate from college

2. Swim in the Atlantic Ocean

3. Visit all populated continents (I can do without Antarctica)

4. Raise a family

5. Get a cat

6. Try vegetarism for a bit (again)

7. Backpack across Europe

8. Spend a summer in Asia (China specifically)

9. Learn a second language

10. Get abs

11. Write a book

12. Visit all 50 states

13. Make/create/sew a dress for myself

14. Learn to cook shrimp for Lance

15. Take a pottery class

16. Volunteer for a crisis center/lifeline

17. Paint my own house

18. Spend Thanksgiving at a homeless shelter

19. Hike Angels Landing at Zion National Park

20. Snow shoe

21. Live somewhere exotic

22. Get married

23. Find a job/career I love

24. Take a picture every day for a year

25. Own a car

26. Bungee jump (preferably over a river)

27. Design & make a piece of jewelry

28. Learn how to utilize coupons

29. Visit Washington, D.C.

30. Visit New York City

31. Take Lance to the Flame Tree Festival

32. Take a picture standing next to the giant thumb in Seoul, South Korea

33. Run a marathon

34. Complete a triathlon

35. Spend time in India

36. Find a job that lets me travel

37. Stick my foot in the Amazon River

38. Ride an elephant

39. Attend Carter's high school graduation

40. Serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

41. Spend a day in the Louvre

42. Get published

43. Make an independent film for a film festival

44. Attend a showing of Saturday Night Live

45. Ride a motorcycle

46. Be the sole driver on a spontaneous road trip

47. Cut Lance's hair

48. Swim with dolphins

49. Have a vegetable garden

50. Attend the Austin Music Festival

51. Learn how to custom design a blog template

52. Watch every single episode of Gilmore Girls (some of these goals are deeper than others)

53. Live somewhere unaffected by Daylight Savings

54. Learn to surf

55. Play Ultimate Frisbee (in a league or something)

56. Hike the Grand Canyon

57. Have blog sponsors

58. Be self employed

59. Meet the President (not picky which one)

60. Be an organ donor (with proof on my license)

61. Be a foster parent

62. Bear my testimony every Fast Sunday for a year

63. Visit the spot where Aron Ralston was trapped for 127 hours

64. Bike across a state

65. Visit Canada

66. Deep sea fish (I always wimped out when my dad & brothers went)

67. Refurnish a piece of furniture

68. Road trip for the sole purpose of exploration (specifically hole-in-the-wall shops/sights)

69. Wear hats (not baseball hats)

70. Own two cats

71. White river raft

72. Be a health/welfare volunteer in Africa

73.Visit the Great Pyramid of Giza

74. Visit the Hanging Gardens of Babylon

75. Visit the Statue of Zeus at Olympia

76. Visit the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus

77. Visit the Mausoleum of Maussollos at Halicarnassus

78. Visit the Colossus of Rhodes

79. Visit the Lighthouse of Alexandria

80. Visit the Old City of Jerusalem

81. Visit Stonehenge

82. Visit the Leaning Tower of Pisa

83. Create scrapbooks for my children

84. Attend a Brandon Flowers Concert

85. See Mumford and Sons perform live

86. Ride a double decker bus (in London)

87. Donate to a thrift store

88. Have a real Christmas Tree

89. Cook a turkey

90. Learn to make delicious cheesecake

91. Become a morning person

92. Read ten books a year for personal enjoyment

93. Escape from the world for a while & connect to nature (no Internet, TV, computer, cellphone, etc)

94. Learn the constellations & spend nights star gazing

95. Hike Mt. Timpanogos

97. Vote in a national election

98. Ice fish

99. Scuba dive on the Great Barrier Reef

100. Read the Book of Mormon, Doctrine & Covenants, the Pearl of Great Price, the Old Testament and the New Testament

When I Can't Find My Own Words

2011-03-08T16:35:00.002-07:00

The following article was written by Matt Weidmer, a freshman from Orem at BYU. It was published today, March 8, 2011 in the Daily Universe. His words jumped out at me. Thanks Matt.

   In 1968, Yvon Chouinard and Doug Tompkins drove the Pan-American Highway from Southern California to Patagonia. With only two weeks' notice, they left their lives behind and spent six months on South America's roads. In true hippie fashion, they loaded up their surf boards, all of their climbing gear and everything they needed for the 10,000 mile, six month odyssey to climb Mt. Fitzgerald.
   After their trip, Chouinard and Tompkins went on to lead successful lives as entrepreneurs and philanthropists.
   Chouinard has been a central figure in the climbing community since the early 1960s; he pioneered revolutionary techniques that are still widely used. He started dominant high-end equipment companies like Patagonia and Black Diamond and continues to advocate for environmental conservation.
   Tompkins, with his wife, founded one of the most popular outdoor companies in the world: The North Face. With the sole purpose of environmental conservation, he and his wife recently bought a tract of land in Chile as big as Yellowstone. Chouinard and Tompkins credit their six-month road trip for heavily influencing their lives.
   I admire both adventurers' spontaneity. They had the discipline to recognize a tremendous opportunity and left when they knew it was time. I do not think they were responsibility-shirking bums, but deliberately left because they knew it was the right thing to do. They were dreamers, for sure, but they acted on their dreams, and were better men for it.
   Unlike Tompkins and Chouinard, I focus on all the reasons to stay, even when I know I ought to go.
   As college students, we are unique in that we have little inherent responsibility. Our time is as flexible as we are. Despite this freedom, we choose to live by rote repetition and push our noses to the grindstone until there is nothing left. We stress about small things and pass up tremendous opportunities like a camping trip or weekend in Moab.
   In Henry David Thoreau's timeless classic Walden, he says "The greater part of what my neighbors call good I believe in my soul to be bad. ... What demon possessed me that I behaved so well?" I often feel like Thoreau, wondering why I stay in Provo, even though I know it is time to leave. What demon scared me into acting against my better judgment?
   On the rare occasion I defy my demon and act on my better judgment, I am always grateful I did. A while ago I could tell it was time to get out of town. The week was passing in a blur, and I could hardly tell yesterday from today: a sure-fire sign it is time to leave.
   So a friend and I bit the bullet and left. We drove up Little Cottonwood Canyon early on a Saturday morning to snowshoe-ski. After three brutal hours of hauling skis, boots and poles up the side of the Wasatch we traded our snowshoes for skis and slid off the mountain into the clouds. That day is one of my favorite memories. We did not spend more than $10 or six hours outside of Provo, but that short time brightened my week.
   Academics are important, but not enough to dictate our lives. Although Chouinard and Tompkins were successful without a formal education, they grew up in a different environment than we do now. Knowledge and skill are invaluable when it comes to supporting and blessing your family and friends. However, we often over stress the value of academics and forget about the other aspects of our education.
   When Chouinard and Tompkins left for Patagonia, they had no expectation to end up as filthy rich businessmen. They simply took an opportunity when it came their way. We need to take a leaf from their book and be more flexible with out time and resources.
   Whether we take a road trip to Patagonia or a spontaneous ski trip up the canyon, what we do is not the issue. In the end, the only issue that matters is whether we go when we know it is time to leave.

Hey Guys...

2011-03-08T09:23:00.001-07:00

I am so embarrassed to admit this, but I spent the weekend watching every single episode of Pretty Little Liars to date.

I know, I know.

But it's so strangely addicting, I just can't help myself.

Plus I love their clothes.

Reasons I Have Absolutely Loved Schooling at the Y:

2011-03-04T15:58:00.001-07:00

0. The fact that I can tell you my use of the colon up there in the title is incorrect. But too bad, so sad. I like the way it looks so it's staying!

1. Jimmer. I know, I know. But I just can't help myself. Let it be known that I made multiple references to him on this very blog prior to this miraculous season, so I am still allowed to sincerely worship the ground he walks on without anyone scoffing in my face. It's been so fun to have something to rally behind as a school. He's a celebrity and we all walk on the same campus he does. There's a sense of school spirit that isn't solely coming from the sports fanatics; so why do some people view that as a bad thing? Lame sauce.

2. Prayers/hymns in class. Like the majority of people, I didn't attend a private religious school growing up. Ok, scratch that, I went to a Seventh Day Adventist school until the second grade. We used to sing songs like The B-I-B-L-E, That's the book for me! and I am a C, I am a C-H, I am a C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N!! (Basically, what I am trying to tell you on this tangent is that religious songs in school taught me to spell.) Seriously though, opening each class with a prayer and/or song really helps me learn. I also feel like it puts me in my place. I'm a student, a learner. I need help and remembering that the Spirit can help me understand Sensation and Perception renews my dedication to the lecture and reading. It's a nice perk I am going to miss sorely.

3. The fact that although people might have been surprised, they weren't fazed that I would get up in front of my English class and sing a song I wrote about ellipsis to the tune of Under the Sea for my grammar presentation. That's right folks, I did just that. I also learned that my hands shake a lot when I'm nervous and I need a better dance move than punching the air with my fists/pointer fingers. Anyways, I've included my literary genius for your personal enjoyment. The entire class cheered me on and my teacher told me it was enjoyable and extremely well written. Boo yah!

[Hahaha, I just realized those squiggly lines are visible. Oh well!]

4. My roommates. All of them. Even the ones that gave me hell. I learned a lot about myself, which was great. And we had some seriously hilarious times. I've been introduced to many things I never would have known about before: chocolate covered Oreo balls, hamburger cakes, bizarre 1960s movies, the proper way to bend&snap, Florida terminology, rice chex/pickles/peanut butter, Law&Order, Sonic Happy Hour, Colombian food, a slew of romantic comedies, Brown Sugar, flag football & basketball intramural sports, public transportation, International Cinema, surviving the dead of winter with an open bedroom window, the necessity of free t-shirts, my now-fiance-soon-to-be-husband; the list is endless. I am also looking forward to the time where my only roommate will be Lance and I won't have to initial all my food items anymore.

5. If you sing the classic Chitty Chitty Bang Bang song while walking across campus, someone will start dancing along. And no one will think twice of it. Because we're all just that cool. Secretly, I'm flattered whenever that happens because let's be honest, I do not have the voice of a beautiful bird. I'm more Scuttle than anything; if I'm lucky sometimes I sound like Sebastian.

6. Divine Comedy. You guys rock my world. I haven't been to a show for almost a year now, but I keep up on the happenings via Facebook. Here are a couple of my favs:

(I am also so glad that BYU lifted their ban on YouTube.)

7. Cosmo. One time I took a picture with him. It was magical. My hair was super short and shoved under a beanie so I looked a little like a cancer patient (didn't help much that the flash made me blindingly white) but it was still legit. Also, I'm his friend on Facebook. Also, what is cooler than a Cougar? NOTHING.

8. My job. I scored big time by landing a job in the administration building. Not only have I had conversation with President Samuelson on multiple occasions, but there are a number of additional perks. 1) Lance and I have a place to live and 2) I am giving the closing prayer at next week's devotional. Guys, this is HUGE! My entire life here at BYU I have wanted to pray at the devotional and now that dream is coming true! I gotta go home, figure out an outfit and practice Russell T. Osguthorpe's name (General Sunday School President). :)

9. BYU Creamery ice cream = heaven. It will make any crappy, no good, very bad day so much better. And it's pretty cheap for such a quality food item! I could eat only that for the rest of my life and be content with my obesity and diabetes. Okay, maybe not that but it's pretty much the greatest. I recommend their Peanut Butter Cup, Cookies and Cream, and of course, Rocky Road. Also, pretty much any other flavor is a mega-win.

10. I love how much I have grown since coming here. I have changed so much over these short 3 years, it makes me sad that I will be leaving after this semester. I am excited for "the real world" but I am going to miss studying out on the grass when the weather is nice, the free candy handed out in the Wilk, the quirky awesome random things people will do on campus, the feel of being a student with limitless possibilities. I'm about to leave my comfort zone, and while I am excited and looking forward to what there is out there for me to explore, I am going to miss the familiarity of the Y. It's been awesome.

Here's looking at you, BYU!

The Elephant & Its Rider

2011-03-03T16:50:00.002-07:00

In my psychology capstone class, we are all required to give two lectures. And we have to give a presentation in our capstone class on part of the lecture we will be teaching. Today this kid (whose name has escaped me, although I doubt I ever knew it in the first place) was giving his lecture on a book called Switch. Switch is about making changes even when changes are tough. He gave this great analogy which works so perfectly with my life I just had to share.

Meet the elephant and it's rider. The rider can control the elephant, but only for so long. Because no matter how tough the rider is, the elephant is bigger, stronger, louder and more dangerous. So if the elephant really wants to walk through the river, by golly it's going to! Even if the rider knows there are elephant-eating crocodiles or quicksand, he is useless against the elephant's desires.

Imagine this: The elephant is our emotions, the rider is logic. If our emotions and logic engage in head to head combat, emotion will come out triumphant. Logic might win a battle, but emotion will win the war. No matter how much it makes sense in your head to get up early to finish your homework, if your emotions are saying, "NO NO NO! SLEEP IS AWESOME!" you will stay in bed even after your alarm rings again and again and again.

The trick is to get the elephant and the rider--your emotions and logic--on the same page. It's a trick because it's hard and requires a huge amount of skill and dedication, but it is indeed possible. Sometimes the rider knows best (in the case of the elephant-eating crocodile, it would be best for the elephant to change its desires), but sometimes the elephant understand things the rider cannot. I stopped paying attention at the steps you should go through to make such changes (foolishly, I know) because I was so involved in my own thoughts at this point. Which I will now share.

Here's the deal. I over think things constantly. I replay scenarios so often in my mind that I can literally talk myself out of (or into) practically anything. As you can imagine, with the wedding getting closer and closer, this particular "talent" of mine is not always the greatest thing to have lying around in one's brain, especially with the looming threat of "cold feet". I don't actually have to worry though, because my elephant is telling me that I want to marry Lance; I am going to marry Lance. My rider sometimes gets worried about the possibility of living forever in Utah or wondering where in the world I am going to work once I graduate. Suddenly I find my elephant trying to be controlled by a rider who is too scared to cross the river. Thankfully my elephant knows where it's at and as I allow my heart to reassure my mind, I can feel my rider and elephant coming together on the same page and happily making it to the other side.

The lesson: sometimes the rider does know better, but not always. Elephants are pretty dang smart, or has Horton would remind us, "I meant what I said and I said what I meant. An elephants faithful, one hundred percent!"

For the record, this was considerably more elegant in my mind. It looks a little like brain vomit once it's all written out, but sometimes that's just the way life is.

Upper Unmentionables

2011-02-28T11:51:00.003-07:00

I don't know where I first heard that term for bras, but I think it's genius.

And quite hilarious.

When I went to my wedding dress alterations appointment, they recommended I get a new upper unmentionable for the dress. Underwear makes me giggle, but who is going to pass up the chance for a lovely new undergarment?

Especially one from VS?

Not me.

So I marched myself right over to Vicky's and immediately was overwhelmed by the amount of lace and animal print. Where have all the nude/white/black upper unmentionables gone?! As one who enjoys making others work for their paychecks, when the clerk asked if she could help, I not only elicited her assistance but also requested a fitting. I've watched enough What Not To Wear to understand that a correct fit can be revolutionary.

Believe me, it is. I sit here typing this as a new woman. To all you lovely ladies, get a fitting. It is amazing. You look better, you feel better, and you will no longer be plagued by the desire to go commando under an over-sized sweatshirt anymore. So throw out those tacky, saggy, ill-fitting upper unmentionables of yours and treat yourself to something you know you deserve.

It will change your life. After all, it has changed mine.

Best of all, the men folk take notice.

This Week's Agenda

2011-02-27T16:28:00.000-07:00

1. Pay rent
2. Get a journal

I'm going crazy. Blogging is awesome, but there are things too personal to share online and I have got to find someplace to write them down before my head explodes.

I know some people use blogging as a scrapbook almost, they print it off at the end of the year and it's an automatic book filled with wonderful memories. It's a cute idea, but I think I would rather keep my journal and my scrapbook separate. Thank heavens for digital scrapbook programs which make that all possible.

I also like the idea of a granddaughter finding my boxes and boxes of journals one day and being able to read some of those things that you don't want people to know about you until after you've gone...or at least have enough life experience to laugh at them.

Do Something Different

2011-02-25T15:34:00.001-07:00

For my marriage prep class, our assignment this weekend is to do something different.

Well, I did something different.

For the first time in my life, I entered a blogging contest through Sydney & The Daybook.

It's for this dress from Edelweiss by Sarah and I really hope I get it.

Winter Funk

2011-02-24T09:58:00.002-07:00

Saipan Winter

I cannot understand people's joy over winter. In my opinion, we would all be better off without it. Especially the month of February. Despite being the shortest month in terms of days, it drags on and on; bleak, soggy, dreadful and depressing all in one slush wrapped package. These 28 days would be better spent jump-starting spring. Instead, the roller-coaster weather ride has got me so turned around I can't think straight and my emotions get all out of whack thanks to whiplash.

That is why I awoke this morning with a strong desire to get as far away from this crazy place as possible. Utah has been nice, but I have overstayed my visit. As one who grew up surrounded by open air and endless ocean, I find the mountains suffocating. It took me until the end of my freshman year to even like them a little bit. The non-variety in culture here sends me up the wall. I like Mormons, I just don't like being surrounded by them. I don't like feeling pressured to be creative; call me the anti-craft. I miss the broken English. I miss the island culture. I miss living somewhere were it isn't about achievements/competition and more about the people. I miss good food; no offense America but your food sucks.

I miss the weather. I have never been more depressed than during the past 3 winters in Utah. I hate the person I find myself slipping into during these months. I get worked up over unnecessary things. I'm constantly comparing myself to others because let's face it, 98.7% of everyone here looks exactly the same. I cry all the time. I don't enjoy walking in the freezing weather, being pelted by sideways snow. I don't enjoy sleeping under 10 blankets. I can live without the white Christmases, hot chocolate & mittens. I'd rather drive around town with my windows rolled down all year long than have a "picture perfect" Christmas morning.

Above all else, I miss the ocean. It's hard to explain this void to someone who didn't see the ocean every morning while driving to school. It's hard to explain the soothing sounds as waves beat against the shore; a constant I could always count on. It's hard to explain the peace of exploration that comes when you're hooked up to an oxygen tank 60ft under the swells. It's what I miss; what I crave. What I need.

Not all things about Utah have been bad though. I've enjoyed BYU. I've made some amazing, lifelong friends (coughsydneycough). I met Lance. They have good produce at a reasonable price.

But Utah was never a destination for me. It was a pit stop along the way.

I'm ready to start moving again.

So...

2011-02-20T09:39:00.002-07:00

You know how some times there are days which are stressful.
Yesterday was not.

Friday night WAS however.

I got this nasty bill from Comcast for almost $300. I don't have $300. I don't have any dollars because I thought Friday was payday, but it was not. Next Friday.

I also got a letter from the CNMI Scholarship ship informing me that some documents were missing and if I don't get them in before the end of the month, adios moneys.

So I called my mom, cried a little bit, hopped in the shower, ate some pork chop casserole (comfort food to the max), hugged Lance and went to bed early and slept in late. Perfect recipe to destress.

Saturday was AWESOME!

First, we went to Comcast to sort this bill thing out. There is hope for my bank account! The plan is to finish sorting the rest of this mess out on Monday. Whew.

Then Lance took his midterm and I ate Twizzlers: The Breakfast of Champions.

Then we went back to my house and watched a little bit of an original SyFy movie, "Snake King" while eating leftovers and commenting on whether huge snakes would scream and growl as the subtitles told us.

Finally it was time to drive out and see a potential apartment we could live in. I am not exaggerating when I say it is the most perfect apartment in the whole world! Our landlady is a total sweetheart. She hugged us right off the bat and by the end of the meeting we had toured her whole house as well as the apartment, received multiple hugs, met various family members and had the keys so we'd be ready to start moving stuff in the first week of April. HOLY SMOKES! This place is perfect. It's in Springville and I love that it has a small town feel. We get half a garage, fully furnished & everything but internet is paid for. The landlady is the grandmother of one of the women I work with. Who knew when I was interviewing 14 months ago that this job would have such a huge impact on my life later?

After landing ourselves the best deal in the world, we went and registered at Bed, Bath & Beyond. At first we were hesitant but by the end we were scanning anything we thought looked cool. We're going to Target tomorrow. We ran out of time yesterday because we went to the Living Legends performance. AH-MAZE-ING. They were so talented and it looked like so much fun to be a part of a dance group. I want to be Polynesian. Honestly, I think they are the most beautiful people in the world. Us whities got the bum end of the looks sticks when it comes to different races.

To top it all off, I went to bed early and got 9 hours of sleep. I also repeatedly kicked the blankets off my bed so when I woke up they were in a knot in the middle of the room.

I suppose I should get ready for church now.

Happy Sunday!

I Heart SNL

2011-02-18T16:58:00.001-07:00

Seriously.

I know I am not the only one who finds this hilarious!

"Once again, the shaking has subsided."

Not Baby Hungry

2011-02-17T20:22:00.002-07:00

I'm scared.

My entire life, I have never been the biggest fan of babies/children. They alarm me to some degree; probably their inability to communicate in a language I can understand. Although, let's be honest: I, of all people, should understand tears.

Plus, my child development class has only increased my fears of SIDS, pelvic floor syndrome, stretch marks and less than perfect children.

I have two adorable future nephews. The last baby I enjoyed being around was Carter, but these two cuties have won my heart over. But when I'm playing with them (or even after a night of babysitting these two perfectly behaved offspring) I never think to myself, Gosh, I just want a baby! I always figured I lucked out and am lacking those motherly traits that seem to come so naturally to everyone but me.

But I have this friend who just gave birth. And as I was looking at her pictures of her little family, I got excited. And then I panicked. Why in the world am I getting excited?! I'm not even married yet. I guess I just got excited by the idea. The idea Lance reading to our offspring before bedtime. The idea of one day having a member of the family that doesn't meow and use the litter box. The idea of a perfect little angel wearing disposable diapers.

Then the responsibility hits me. I'm not ready yet. I don't have the energy to haul around my entire life for a 10 lb infant. I can't handle the sleepless nights, constant demands, and wailing. Right now, in this unmarried-but-soon-to-be-in-72-days stage of my life, I'm not ready. I don't think I'll be ready for a couple more years. I'm just not to that point and I am perfectly okay with that.

Just know, I'm no longer totally repulsed by the idea of being a mother.
I think this will make Lance sleep a little easier at night.

Carter & I: The Early Years

These Words, They Are Stuck

2011-02-16T20:51:00.000-07:00

I want to write, but nothing is coming out. It is very sad indeed. At least our apartment smells like tacos. Delish. Who doesn't love the smell of home cooked Mexican food? Food Scrooges, that's who. I'm not even a big fan of Mexican food but I love tacos! It all stems from my severe disdain of beans. The texture, the smell, the taste...sick nasty. Mexican food junkies (and I suppose the entire population of South America) love 'em though. Back to tacos/beanless burritos: Do not the Taco Bell/Time versions. Those make me want to vomit because even that would be a more enjoyable experience than forcing myself to digest those crimes against humanity. Anyways, Allison is making tacos and the smell is wonderful. The end.

In other sad and depressing news: there is slushy snow falling from the sky. BOO. It was so gorgeous earlier this week. Why, Provo? Why? This is just horrible. It's falling sideways so no matter how you walk or attempt to protect yourself, it will find you and you will wish you had decided to stay cozy in bed instead of being responsible and going to class. I don't know if blondes have more fun but I can say that irresponsible slacker truants do when it's cold and snowy. Maybe one of these days I will take a page out of their unopened books.

I want to rent and watch every single episode of every single season of Gilmore Girls. I wonder if I can find them anywhere online. That would be a dream come true. My ultimate happiness does not lie in my own hands, but rather in the hands of Lorelai and Luke's relationship. Unfortunately I think/know how their story ends so I may need to find a new show to invest my ultimate happiness into.

I did not sit down in my unmade bed to write a public post about television reruns, Mexican cuisine or less than satisfactory weather conditions. It feels good to write, however, and I thank you for being a relatively captive audience. It is much appreciated it.

Kudos.

One Last Post On Lovers' Day

2011-02-15T20:50:00.001-07:00

I realize not everyone was as lucky as I was this past holiday.

To those of you: I understand.

This was my first Valentine's Day that I actually had my very own Valentine. And it was lovely (for proof, look at that rose which manages to make me swoon a little on the inside every time I walk by the table).

Lance & I both fell asleep on the couch for a good two hours.

When did we get so old?

What Best Friends Do When The Men They Love Are Busy

2011-02-14T18:03:00.002-07:00

So...remember that post from last Friday about the Truman Concert?

I found $7 and went with Syd. We had the time of our lives...or something close to it. And we walked everywhere because we don't have cars and while the men we love do, they were busy earning money and what not so we were left to our own devices, namely our feet.

Talk about a work out.
But so totally worth it.

Rearin' & ready to go!

First we raided the Wendy's dollar menu (we be thrifty). It was delish. Then we explored downtown Provo and I found about 8495437520985 antique shops/boutiques I wanted to return to during business hours. We also critique all the super revealing costumes at TaylorMaid, danced on street corners and made [slightly] inappropriate comments about the last names of Team Elite members in front of the NuSkin building.

Finally it was time. Oh Mama!!!

Syd's eye was getting into the Valentine spirit like none other.

All the bands were wonderful, but the band we adore stole our musically inclined hearts. They busted out a keytar, fun originals and some wickedly catchy covers. Seriously, I was singing "Forget You" & "Use Somebody" for the rest of the night.

Chad & Ben Truman

Tell me, does anyone else find it so incredibly irresistible when the pianist/keyboardist bends over their instrument because they're so into their music?

It's Alarming How Charming I Feel

2011-02-11T15:30:00.009-07:00

Let's talk beauty.

I've tried starting this post a million different ways, but the disclaimer always seems to get the best of me and totally derails my train of thought before I can even get the important words and feelings down in coherent sentences. I get so far off topic before I even start on the topic. So here we go; off to embraced the candidness this post will [hopefully] be.

One final note: This post is NOT a pity party. It helps me come to terms with things if I can rationalize my emotions out on a surface where I become accountable for my feelings. It also helps to express them and know that other people might have a better understanding of a topic that usually isn't brought up over hot chocolate or a family dinner.

{Deep breath.}

I don't think I'm beautiful.

There, I said it. It's out there in the open, floating above my head frozen in time like those word bubbles in comic strips; rearing its ugly (pun intended) head for the entity of the blogging world to read over and over and over again. So let's talk about it, since it doesn't appear to be going anywhere soon.

Shall we?

To be perfectly honest, I think my insecurity steams from Madison's hair. It's not easy being the older sister with boring brown hair when the younger sister has locks they write songs about and just happens to look like the most current pop star. I'm not knocking Madison by any means; she is a gorgeous girl and I am happy that she has [finally] embraced her hair. That is awesome! And I don't know if Mom ever thought that would happen when she would spend hours straightening Madison's hair in middle school or when she would put it up in pigtails day after day after day in elementary school.

However, it also sucks. This is what the life of an older-slightly-boring-and-less-tactful sister is like: whenever I talk to anyone it's always about how beautiful Madison is. Like I wrote a short note to my grandpa the other day and his reply was mostly about Madison's looks. Oh, and then a note about how Lance & I are great for each other. When I went home for Christmas, everyone commented on Madison's beauty and I got told I had gained weight, especially in "this area" (cue hand motioning). Ouch. Excuse me while I go start myself on the destructive path of eating disorders. Thanks, Friend. Plus, my mom is gorgeous as well. What are the chances of a single brunette landing smack in the middle of two beautiful blondes? Japanese tourists loved their hair and always wanted to get pictures taken with blonde hair & blue eyes. Let's hear it for brunettes!

Don't get me wrong; I haven't always felt this way. In high school I thought I looked great! I loved the way I looked. So I'm certain I'm not ugly. I've just gotten the "cute" or "good looking" compliments for so long I wonder if I'll ever graduate to a level that's not so...well, cutesy and average sounding. And hott doesn't count. Because every guy I've dated has told me I'm hott, but only one has ever told me I'm beautiful. When Lance first said it, I was thrown off guard. How do you respond to something you've never heard and don't believe? Denial. Even now, that tends to be my initial reaction.

I like my body. I like my face. I even like my hair. Until I walk in front of a mirror/reflective surface or see myself in a picture. Then I'm like, "Holy crap, that's how I look??" When I spend the day walking around feeling awesome, it's alarming to see that my self perceptions are rarely reflected to the outside world.

So then I get upset. And a tiny bit angry. I swear that I don't care and that I won't wear make up on my wedding day. Who cares if after my face turns red it stays red ALL DAY? Who cares that I don't dress like every single Abercrombie & Fitch model? Who cares! Certainly not me! I vow to never "lower" myself to the level of people who spend hours primping themselves to look fabulous. I get sloppy and bitter and a little bit jaded.

And then I come full circle. And I realize that instead of comparing myself to every single flawless girl on BYU campus, I should turn my focus inward and embrace this person that I am and the looks I will have for [hopefully] the rest of my life.

I'm different from the typical beauty. That's the honest truth. My teeth are too tiny. My face is too round, too red. There are bags under my eyes and I weigh more than 120 pounds. So what. Is this really important? Important enough to merit an entire post that's been days in the works.

At least when I smile, it's sincere. You don't get any more honest than a make up free face. And despite my [sometimes] biting sense of humor, I adore people who are honest enough to be different. Honest enough to be themselves despite what the world tells them to be. I love the courage they exhibit and want to be brave enough to be myself without hesitation someday.

So here is my promise to myself: I WILL STOP COMPARING MYSELF TO OTHERS. It's not healthy and I get so worked up about it I become unpleasant. Instead of noticing all the things that are "wrong" with me, I will embrace my uniqueness. I will experiment with my looks and hopefully change my feelings about my personal worth. Also, I am going to stop talking and obsessing over the topic. I won't participate in the discussions inside or outside of my head as well.

For my own sanity, I can't.

If I Had Just $7

2011-02-11T10:20:00.002-07:00

I would go to this concert. Maybe I still will.

Because seriously folks, these boys are literally THEBOMBDOTCOM.

I heard them play this summer at an outdoor concert a friend from my ward threw. And I loved them the moment I sat my cute little bum down on a blanket and heard the first notes of their beautiful, charming voices. After the concert was over I went up and talked to them. I like to think I'm cool enough to approach musicians post performance and flirt shamelessly with them. The one in the brown suit told me I was so fun because I rocked out the entire time he was singing. {swoon}I think his name is Chad (possible name of first son?).

I really really REALLY want to go to this.

Tonight.

I'd even go by myself.

PS: This is post 369. Cool, eh?

1 for the Money, 2 for the Show

2011-02-10T19:49:00.001-07:00

I didn't want to disappoint, so I thought I'd make up for my super lack luster post from a few hours ago with a more AWKWARD & AWESOME post now.

So here's the dealio: I follow this blog called The Daybook and she does a little number called Awkward and Awesome Thursdays. They're always hilarious to read and some of my other blogger friends do them as well. Well, I just can't stand to miss out on something so fun and since I've got a few hours (1.5 but who's counting) until Lance is off work, I might as well join in. No promises that this will be a regular thing though, so try not to get your hopes up too high.

:AWKWARD:
-My hair and this flower. Seriously guys. I did this bun thing but it was crooked on my head so I had to do something to make it not so horrendous. Why didn't I just wear a hat?
-Old people farts. Let's not get into that one.
-Confessions of BYU students. In my Child Psychopathology class my instructor read anonymous confessions of behaviors BYU students had participated in when they were younger. Why do you so many people torture animals?! The images that have been burned in my brain thanks to a vivid imagination are not pleasant.
-Not showering. I know: it's gross. I woke up late and literally had no time. Now I'm so cozy and warm that I don't want to get undressed. Maybe I'm just lazy, which is just as awkward.
-Showing up to work winded and overheated. I'm 20 years old, why is this happening to me?
-The munchies. I've had them all night and I don't even do drugs. What's up with that?!

:AWESOME:
-This life-sized poster of Jimmer. In our living room. Best thing ever. Plus, Lance is the one who gave it to us. Thanks love!
-Sleeping in until 8 and only being a half hour late to work! I love living so close to campus!
-Going to the dollar theatre with Lance and acting like we're 16. (Ok, I admit this hasn't happened yet, but as soon as he's off work the fun begins!)
-Getting stuck in a good book. I'm reading The Girl Who Played With Fire and I can't put it down. Except for when I blog of course.
-Syd's new blog: The Many Marvelous Misadventures of Shiz & Kidney. Check it out.
-79 (basically 78) days until THE BIG DAY!!!

New Font

2011-02-10T16:50:00.001-07:00

For the sake of blogging, I'm publishing this post.

It contains absolutely nothing I actually wish to talk about.

I am sitting here in Psych Central wearing my brand spanking new green personalized name tag (BOOYAH!) trying to will the big hand on the clock to move at a speed faster than death crawl.

So I changed my font.
And finished my writing assignment.
And helped Syd sign up for her blog (I can't wait to follow!)
And convinced myself not to read through various bloggers' early, early posts.

Let's get serious people, I'm not that bored just yet.

Oh! In happy news, after I clock out here I am going home and making tacos and green monster smoothies and showering. That is a great mid-almost-ending to a pretty good Thursday. Lance promised to take me to the dollar theatre tonight. I am stoked.

For reals.

Good News

2011-02-07T13:41:00.002-07:00

The good news is I am no longer a crazy emotional mess. I am feeling much better about life and the wedding and school and everything else that has been going on this past week. It's been crazy; I overreacted and under-destressed. It actually worked out pretty well though. I only have to make a few more decisions and then I am not worrying about the rest of the details. Invitation paper has been picked; tablecloths chosen; wedding dress found in all its awesome glory. I'm feeling pretty good. Still a lot of school stress, but in the long run I am a million times better.

I was inspired by my friend Tairsa's blogpost. She hit the nail right smack on its head. Her insights are reassuring and I felt like it was one of those moments you have in General Conference or Sacrament Meeting when you feel like the speaker is talking directly to you. It's always nice to be reminded that there is someone out there who has your back 100% of all the time in the entire world. We are all very blessed.

Also, my other friend Shelby swears by these Green Monster Drinks and I'm really excited to try it. Lance is no where near as excited as I am, but has promised to try a sip if I make one. I gotta get to the grocery store!

Also, Lance bought the Mumford & Sons album this weekend. I was already a HUGE fan of their song "Little Lion Man" but now I am loving every single one of their songs. I love the banjo and their accents. I just want one of them to be a redhead. Here are just two. :)

I don't even know...

2011-02-04T19:26:00.001-07:00

You ever have those times when you're off? 10 minutes late to everything, grumpy attitude, emotional at the smallest things? This has been me recently. Why? Why? Why? I don't know why. All I know is that is has been. And instead of brushing things off, I've let them get to me.

I'm just tired of crying all the time.
I want it to stop.

I like to think I'm a people person, but I don't think people people (plural?) wish that everyone would go away and leave them alone for a long time. I also don't think people people (again??) get sick and tired of other people's opinions and just wish they would shut up so they could hear themselves think and not be constantly reminded of the other persons noisy and opinionated presence ALL THE FREAKING TIME.

I think I need a nap, but 5 chapters and a midterm in Sensation and Perception are making that seem less realistic than I prefer.

Sometimes I wish this was a private blog so I could actually talk about what is bothering me so much. But I can't because it would probably come off as very mean and quite hurtful. Just know that shopping makes me tired and irritated and extremely sensitive. Then I get upset and tired and emotional about really dumb things. Instead of confronting the person, I would rather just write about it. Things make more sense when I can sort them out on figurative paper.

Because I don't want this blog to be a total downer, here's some hilarious SNL skits. :)

Once again...

2011-02-03T12:07:00.003-07:00

So, I finally figured it out.
The exact words to describe how it feels during that time of the month.
It hit me as I was walking to school this morning.

It feels like all the butterflies in your stomach got their wings slashed and are desperately trying to claw/pathetically flap their way out but instead have landed in a huge pile and are now rolling around creating a lot of drama and dying.

Gross.

To Do lists

2011-02-01T15:32:00.001-07:00

In case you guys haven't noticed by now, I love my To Do lists. Without them, I probably crash and die in a fiery, painful explosion. It would hurt a lot. You could probably hear my screams of pain and discomfort wherever you are reading this. Be thankful that I keep on top of my lists, therefore saving all of us from my bloodcurdling death screams.

Sorry, I just realized that is a little on the morbid side but I'm not really in the mood to hit the delete key.

Yesterday was a truly glorious day in To Do lists. I crossed off EVERYTHING I had scheduled for that day. EVERYTHING! That rarely happens! I'm always having to put things on tomorrow's list, bumping everything out of whack and drawing lots of arrows in my planner. But not yesterday!

Because I was so successful yesterday, check out today's list:

email 315 group/draft research memo
revisit solo lecture presentation
laundry

Never ever never is my list of things-I-absolutely-have-to-get-done this short. I feel like a free woman.

I think today merits a nap.

Lessons from an LDS Film Festival

2011-01-31T20:29:00.002-07:00

This past weekend was a BLAST to say the least. Seriously, guys. It was the best ever. Especially Saturday, which was just a fun-filled day right from the beginning. I took my first test of 2011 and I did pretty well, if I do say so myself. Then I showered. Then I waited "patiently" for Lance's class to get out so we could spend some quality weekend time together. Our activities included: True Grit, shopping, Provo Beach Resort, Tucano's, kissing (a must), Dexter, and the premiere of the movie my Grandpa helped produce: Joseph Smith and the Golden Plates.

I enjoyed the film much more than I thought I would. Church movies are moving and inspirational, but they all tend to be quite similar. It was a nice surprise to find out that this one took a new angle on a classic and awe-inspiring story.

My favorite part of the film was that it explored the fun and loving side of Joseph and Emma's relationship. There is no doubt it was hard for Emma, but I admire her courage and faith during those early years. Emma often gets a bad rap for what happened after Joseph Smith died and things went sour. I got the distinct impression during this film that Emma was a wonderful, faithful spirit. She stood by Joseph every step along the way--through child birth/death, heartache, persecution, spiritual moments, love unfeigned. She did things I wonder at. Think about it: if Lance came to me while we were dating and told me he had spoken directly to God that he should start a knew church, I wonder if I would have the faith to believe him and still choose to marry him. Given our circumstances are different, but Emma came from a very religious family. This couldn't have been an easy decision for her.

This really got me thinking. If someone as choice and good and faithful as Emma Smith can fall to temptation and pride, how easy is it for me to fall? How quickly would I fight for my son to be prophet? How often would I moan and complain about the constant moving and persecution? How soon would I throw the towel in, start crying and never stop? I would like to think I've got more gumption and faith than that, but until we are put in trying situations, you just don't know. And because you don't know, you never want to allow yourself to become vulnerable enough to fall when those times come along. And from what I've heard about life, they always come along.

This got me thinking, again. For some reason, I've become extremely fixated on change. Looking back over the years and past relationships, I am grateful to find a trend of continual progress and growth. I've had my bumps and bruises and wrong turns, but for the most part I am working towards embracing my potential. I've still got a million miles to go, but at least I feel like I am on the right track. I am blessed for being raised the way I was. I am so blessed to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and to believe with my whole soul the truths I have been taught. I am grateful for my believing spirit and my desire to do and be better. I am blessed to not have gotten lost or forgotten in the brambles that envelop wrong turns and poor decisions.

Not everyone is as lucky as I have been. There are people I knew in high school who showed great potential. More potential than I ever saw or felt in myself. You looked at them and thought they could change the world if they wanted to. Unfortunately, these friends have fallen one by one to alcohol, sex, pride, laziness, hopelessness, and unhappiness. I look at them now I feel sad for them. It is always upsetting to watch someone who has it all, lose it all. There is always a chance to change that, thankfully. Always. Some people don't realize that though. Some people have become so fixated on their own failure or believe that they are right no matter what, that they can't see the way back to happiness.

This affects everything! School work, family relationships, romantic relationships, friendships, work ethic, general well-being. If psychology has taught me anything, it is that you can't be well if you're out of balance. If you fail to nourish different aspects of your life (physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, social, etc) you are fueling the fire which will lead to a number of negative outcomes. What I don't understand is why someone would choose to do this to themselves. Why would you aid in your own self-destruction? Why would you push away people who are trying to reach out to you and so vehemently defend those who drag you down with them? Why not escape?

I know I'm on my soapbox right now. I apologize. I feel strongly about this aspect of balance and of constantly choosing to be better. Emma fell because she let petty things block her eternal perspective. How often do we let things like academic recognition, pride, hurt feelings, annoyance, the opinions of others, and momentary feelings of self-doubt prevent us from becoming?

I want to be the person Emma was when she and Joseph first got married. I want her faith, her strength, her devotion, her courage, her love. I also want to make a decision each day to not let the little things get in my way. I want to become who the Lord wants me and trusts me to be.

Becoming is letting go of what we are not.

Basketball

2011-01-28T20:16:00.019-07:00

Hello blog-o-sphere. I don't know how many of you have followed Jimmer's AMAZING season (I have a friend who has been personally following HIM for a while now [coughalyssacough]). Just know it's awesome.

Also, just know it's awesome that I am about to introduce you to the next, upcoming Jimmer. Sure he's still in middle school right now. Sure he's a little on the short side. Sure he's thousands of miles into the Pacific Ocean. But witness the talent below as the youngest kid on the team makes not one but FOUR baskets.

His personal score in this game alone is 8 times as many points as I made the ENTIRE SEASON when I played in the sixth grade.

CARTER SMITH #25

To Do List (Revised)

2011-01-28T17:13:00.003-07:00

~~1. 410R Reading Response 2: Effective Lectures; Assessing and Grading; Technology; Large Classes.~~

~~2. 370 critique the method section of the article Does Visual Subordinate-level Categorization Engage the Functionally Defined Fusiform Face Area?~~

~~3. Study with Sydney and fill out the study guide for our first exam in Child Psychpathology which starts Friday and the late day is Monday. Still gotta take the test. Most likely tomorrow morning.~~

~~4. Attend the mini-Saipan reunion dinner Thursday night. Cafe Rio, yummy to my tummy.~~

5. Take a buttload of stuff to Plato's Closet to make a little extra mula and maybe, just maybe, find something cute there.

~~6. Buy myself some milk, sunflower seeds, toothpaste, shampoo & conditioner.~~

~~7. Introduce Lance to Grandpa Smith & Diane and attend their movie premiere on Saturday night.~~

~~8. Pay rent.~~

~~9. Prepare for my team teach lecture with Caitlin on the exciting topic of Title Pages & Abstracts.~~ ~~We're teaching on Wednesday. It's going to be a piece of cake.~~

~~10. Attend library research course. Boo.~~

~~11. Prepare for (and present) group lecture on interpretation tools in research.~~

~~12. 410R Reading Response 3: Understanding Students.~~

13. Prepare for (and present) individual lecture on Ethics & Plagerism.

~~14. Write a love poem for my Marriage Preparation class.~~

15. Study for and take my Sensation & Perception exam which begins on a Saturday and ends on a Tuesday. Why are all my teachers fans of weekend exams??

16. Fulfill my 3 hours requirement of supervision in Psych Central. I still need to make arrangments for next's week hours since I don't want to spend precious time sitting around watching other people breathe while I could be with Mom.

~~17. And best of all...Mom arrives on the 2nd and will be here for a whole week. I am so excited!!~~

Not too shabby. I got about half the things crossed off the list. There are still some big ones to take care of (ie: 1 paper, 2 exams, 3 presentations) but for the most part, I'm feeling pretty dang good about stuff.

Kind of.

Today was a pretty not-so-great day. I woke up before the crack of dawn to finish up my Sensation & Perception reading and have felt extremely overwhelmed since. Work was all over the crazy place and I didn't get everything finished that I wanted to. I didn't have my usual break inbetween classes and I forgot my binder & got called out in class for it. That and a lot of other stuff as well.

Gross.

Basically I just wanted to crawl up in a ball and disappear. But unfortunately things don't really work like that so I can't. I get to go home and finish studying for my Child Psychopathology exam that I'm taking while Lance is in his class tomorrow morning.

Just for fun

2011-01-26T18:40:00.003-07:00

Check out P!nk's dancing at 2:53 (start at 2:49).

That's totally how I dance at parties.

PS: I don't know about you guys, but when this video came out back when I was in late elementary/early middle school, I thought it was the coolest thing ever. And I still do. Gotta love the hair, the outfit, the everything bizarre and sightly-80s-reminiscent. The good ol' 90s/early 2000s.

potpourri

2011-01-25T19:20:00.005-07:00

Holy moly you guys. There is a lot to talk about. For reals.

So here we go!

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First of all, I decided that today I wanted to write about how great it is to rediscover that I might actually be a morning person. I usually get up between 6:30 and 7:15 during the week. I feel like I have so much time to do all the things I want to do in my day. I don't wake up feeling cranky because I slept later than I should have or feel like I waste my mornings laying in bed or wasting away my time in front of the computer. I mean, I used to wake up by 5:30 every morning in high school for early morning Seminary, yet I seem to have lost that aspect of self discipline the moment I moved to college. This rediscovery is nice. It feels good. I hope this is something I can keep up after this semester. Plus, I'm in bed and asleep before 1 every night. It is lovely.

Except...that when you leave the house when it is still dark, it is hard to judge how the weather is going to be. For the past week, the weather has been almost spring-like. So this morning I decided I would shed my big white poofy winter coat for my more lovely bright blue peacoat. BAD. IDEA. When I left, the weather was promisingly warm. I swear, 20 minutes after I got to work it took a turn for the worse. See illustration below.

Yesterday :: Today

I wore the same pair of jean trousers every day last week, so I thought I would wear a skirt since the weather was acting so nicely. Oh man, there is no way I could have been any more unprepared than I was today. Adorable flats are not cut out for piles of snow and slush. My tights were soaked by the time I made it safely back to my apartment.

Proof of my unpreparedness.

Lesson learned. From now on I swear I am going to the read the weather forecast before I get dressed in the mornings.

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I have horrible, awful news. My camera is dying. Practically dead. I got it when I was still back in high school and now with a full battery, it can only take 11 pictures before it calls it quits and the battery light starts flashing red, mocking you as you attempt to take the battery out, shake it, replace and cross your fingers that you can get at least 1, maybe 2 more shots. Oh it makes me sad. I think it is about time my love retired. It's probably for the best though, it's all banged up, scratched, and the lens has a bunch of fuzzy things on it that no matter how hard I try to clean it, they remain. Like the .01% of bacteria and germs that no antibacterial product can clean.

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Here's my to-do list for the next two weeks. Buckle your seat belts and cross your fingers that I can actually get it all done and do it well!

Unfortunately, these are all necessary.

1. 410R Reading Response 2: Effective Lectures; Assessing and Grading; Technology; Large Classes.
2. 370 critique the method section of the article Does Visual Subordinate-level Categorization Engage the Functionally Defined Fusiform Face Area?
3. Study with Sydney and fill out the study guide for our first exam in Child Psychpathology which starts Friday and the late day is Monday.
4. Attend the mini-Saipan reunion dinner Thursday night. Cafe Rio, yummy to my tummy.
5. Take a buttload of stuff to Plato's Closet to make a little extra mula and maybe, just maybe, find something cute there.
6. Buy myself some milk, sunflower seeds, toothpaste, shampoo & conditioner.
7. Introduce Lance to Grandpa Smith & Diane and attend their movie premiere on Saturday night.
8. Pay rent.
9. Prepare for my team teach lecture with Caitlin on the exciting topic of Title Pages & Abstracts.
10. Attend library research course. Boo.
11. Prepare for group presentation lecture on interpretation tools in research.
12. 410R Reading Response 3: Understanding Students.
13. Prepare for individual lecture on Ethics & Plagerism.
14. Write a love poem for my Marriage Preparation class.
15. Study for and take my Sensation & Perception exam which begins on a Saturday and ends on a Tuesday. Why are all my teachers fans of weekend exams??
16. Fulfill my 3 hours requirement of supervision in Psych Central.
17. And best of all...Mom arrives on the 2nd and will be here for a whole week. I am so excited!!

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I know I shouldn't, but sometimes little things get to me. Like when people put "haha" at the end of their text messages. Are you really laughing at your own jokes? I mean, sure I do that all the time in real life, but you don't have to be as awkward in your text messages as you are in real life. PLUS, when people put "haha" you know they aren't really laughing. You know they are really laughing when they put "hahaha".

Additionally, because of bad planning, Lance and I get to see each other for like 2 1/2 hours a day during the week. Can I hear a collective "Boo!" from the audience, please? Needless to say, this makes me cranky. I like being independent and all, but I would be happy with like bursts of dependence mixed in to my independence. We never get to see each other in between classes because we're on different campuses, so we definitely don't get to take a class together. He can't ever walk me to work because he lives 20 miles away and works his butt off to save us money. I'm not mad about that, just extremely grateful he's so willing to sacrifice like that. HOWEVER, it bugs me when I see couples holding hands while walking across campus, eating lunch together, cuddling awkwardly in the seats in the JSB because I don't get to do any of that. It's like a slap in the face when they don't even look good together either. Maybe that's just me it bothers...

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Because Lance and I love movies, we like to watch them together. A LOT. Probably more than we should. So we decided to start a new activity. We're not ruling out movies, just treating them like junk food: fun and good for you (emotionally, mentally, psychologically) in small doses. So we've decided to start reading books together. It's a mixture of out loud and silently, and I'm loving it.

Our first book is Between a Rock and a Hard Place. It's the story of Aron, the outdoors man who got his arm pinned under a boulder when he was out on his own in the middle of the Moab desert back in 2003. He ended up having to amputate his own arm and managed to survive after 5 days or more specifically, 127 hours. PS: You should totally watch the movie. It's phenomenal! And gross, especially when he has to drink his own urine and then self amputate. I didn't close my eyes the whole movie though, a first! Lance and I decided not to move our right hands while his was trapped to see what it would be like. It hurt and there wasn't even a rock on top of me! Anyways, last night we read the first chapter while chowing down on some Junior Mints that my adorable visiting teachers brought me. Can I just say I love them!?

Model-worthy Junior Mints :: "Artistic" shot of the book

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Speaking of visiting teaching, my insanely awesome Relief Society President (RSP) gave a truly inspiring mini-lesson on visiting teaching. She talked about how Christ is the perfect example of all things; even visiting teaching. She had us read Luke 8:43-48, the story of the woman with the issue of blood. She then explained that this can be compared to visiting teaching because Christ served the woman, called her by name (got to know her personally) and testified. That is our responsibility as a visiting teacher. We are to serve our sisters, know them personally, and testify to them. My RSP also explained how Christ was on his way to heal Jairus' daughter, but when he felt the woman touch his cloak, he served her right then. That is how we should act; we shouldn't wait until we aren't busy (we all know those times never come) or put it off when we feel impressed to reach out. We need to follow Christ's example. I would have never in a million years related that miracle to visiting teaching. That is probably one of the many reasons I am not RSP. I am thankful my RSP is inspired by the Spirit to teach us in ways we never would have imagined.

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Last, but certainly not least, my roommate Allison got her mission call on Thursday. I was so excited for her I literally almost wet my pants in anticipation. She is serving in the Panama City, Panama Spanish speaking mission. She reports on June 8th! Way to go Hermana Haycock!!

Panama Canal

Sundance: In All Its Smokey, Hazy Glory

2011-01-24T09:41:00.002-07:00

[Standing in the frozen streets of Park City at the Sundance Film Festival.]

[Lance chilling at the super tasty Pasta&Pizza restaurant.]

You know without a smidgen of a doubt that you have the best fiancé in the world when HE suggests the two of you drive up to Park City for the Sundance Film Festival--something you've been dying to do since you were old enough to realize that film festivals are the coolest thing ever. FOR REALS.

And that is exactly what Lance & I did Friday night. It was awesome. First of all, we weren't in the bubble any more. HALLELUJAH. Second of all, there were FAMOUS people. Except the one we saw I didn't recognize. We did walk by the House of Blues were The Pussycat Dolls were performing with Carmen Electra but because I'm not the age where you are allowed to fun things like go into the place where famous people are performing, we just glanced in through the open door.
We started our road trip off right: Blue Gatorade, peach rings, and a short visit with a family Lance met while on his mission. Oh yes, and don't forget the 311 soundtrack. :)

When we got to Park City, we started by walking around just taking in everything. Believe me, there was a lot to take in. Just for fun, we stepped into a store selling coats...and quickly stepped back outside when we saw the $1200 price tags. Holy Moly. That's a tad on the ridiculous side.

[Silently mocking the flamboyant table behind us.]

However, it's no where near as ridiculous as the table we sat next to while eating dinner. They were awesome. I was so sad when they finished their meal because that meant my people watching/eavesdropping fun was over. Darn. They were a card...or should I say, a pack of hot pink, sparkling, glittery cards. While I was devoting my energy to the table next to ours, Lance was watching a date at the table across from ours (where the guy in the blue shirt is sitting). He starts laughing because the girl on the date keeps adjusting her shirt to make herself look bigger and perkier. I look over laughing, only to find she is looking right at me! Whoops. I quickly turned my head and started laughing more.

[DELICIOUS HUMONGOUS BURGER!!]

Soon after we left and started our wandering again. About an hour later, we're walking past a line when the very same girl who was at the restaurant yells to me, "Hey! You're from the Pizza place. You saw me touch my boobs." I was horrified. Lance thought it was hysterical. What were the chances we would run into her again. SERIOUSLY?!

We didn't watch any movies (I might have slept through them after all that walking around) but we looked at posters and debated which ones we would be willing to spend $15 on and which ones looked a little lame.

[This is supposed to say "Sundance Film Festival".]

[Lance doesn't like getting his picture taken. Thank heavens
I'm always a willing model.]

I'm bummed we didn't get the chance to see James Franco. Apparently he was up there the night we were. Darn minimum age requirements! Next year I'm stalking all the bars looking for a famous person I recognize. Just like Lance's friend who each year goes to the film festival each year hoping to bar fight Russel Crowe. I admire his dedication to his cause; if you're going to beat up anyone, it should be someone who mumbles.

Despite the lack of famous people sightings, we were never bored thanks to the colorful personalities of the the streetwalkers. There was a guy with a corncob pipe, another guy with 70s retro white platform shoes, people walking around with the most obscure fur & feather creations on their heads (they were more popular among the men folk). There was also a lot of swearing and name calling. Quite exciting and the exact opposite of BYU campus. Two moments stand out vividly.

The first: Sirens started going off. It might have been an alarm or maybe something else, who knows. And this drunk German guy starts running past us swinging his guitar screaming about how it's like Berlin and the air raids. It was hilarious. And so unexpected. Obviously he was joking, but I am sure he wouldn't have done that had he not been intoxicated. You could smell the alcohol.
The second best moment goes to the British (? Scottish, maybe German--I don't know my accents well enough) man & wife reunion outside the public restrooms. As she came out of the bathrooms, her husband exclaimed, "Finally, she has returned from the catacombs!"
Priceless.
Here's a quick question: What is more uncomfortable when using a public toilet, a warm seat or a cold seat?

[In front of scandalicious movie posters.]

Think about it. But not too hard, you'll disgust yourself.

(Hmmm...it's hard thinking up things to say so that the words will fit nicely into the spaces created by the pictures.)

Oh, okay so here's a fun thing. Because Sundance is such a huge deal (and rightfully so) we spent a long time trying to find a free parking space. Lance used his excellent driving skills to manuver us through a parking lot that was packed to the brim. We finally found a nice free spot (after many U-turns and much searching) that was half a mile away from the action. We got to take a lovely nighttime walk together in the cool, brisk air. It was great just to spend it together before things got all hustle-y and bustle-y. Walking back though, I stepped in the world's largest puddle. TWICE. I love Lance but he can't see huge gaping puddles of water in the pitch dark any better than I can. Luckily we weren't far from his car and I could warm my soaking toes and pants next to the heater as we made our journey back through the canyon.

[My new boyfriend.]

[And Lance's new pal.]

All in all, it was a super, duper great night. I got a Roots shirt and the coolest pair of long wool socks EVER. Seriously, I am so in love with them that I would have worn them to church if I could have somehow worked them into my outfit. Thanks Lance!

We would have taken more pictures together, but unfortunately the cold weather sapped my camera of it's battery life and I was too scared to give it to a potentially drunk/high individual for fear they might walk off with it instead of taking a picture. Thus, all the individual shots or Myspace photos. It works for us though.

So, basically I hope you aren't jealous that I wound up with the greatest man ever. And for the sake of being awesome: 96 DAYS.

Holy smokes. I'm going to be Reeves you guys, how great is that?!?!

[Love us.]

Million Dollar Question

2011-01-21T16:19:00.002-07:00

I rarely do this. Seriously guys! It's just, well, I'm "working" in Psych Central right now and there is nothing to do. One girl is typing away at her computer not needing my assistance. To be quite frank, that's how I prefer my Friday afternoons to be: quiet, alone, yet still seen as reliable for always being where I am supposed to be while feeling productive for working towards my total hours in Psych Central for my capstone course requirement.

Ok, a group of freshmen PSYCH 111 children just walked in, but they're so busy studying that they're no fun either. [Update: computer girl is now watching Friend's reruns and quite frankly I am jealous.]

So I thought I would browse the Internet until my eyes watered and crossed looking at all the wonderful things I would buy if I had the money and lack of good judgment to spend it on such frivilous yet lovely objects. Aside from the blue shoes, I think the goldfish salt & pepper shakers are my favorite finds of the day, don't you? I couldn't bring myself to list the prices of all these treasure. But just for the record, those are pricey (yet totally worth it) Fabulous Ms. Fox earrings.

Here's the million dollar question: What would you buy if you were able to spend a million dollars guilt free?

Insert Clever Wendy's 99 Cent Jingle Here

2011-01-21T09:40:00.001-07:00

SO...
...99 days!!

A cause for a celebration INDEED.
And celebrate we did.
Lance & I did something we hardly ever get the chance to do these days.
We went out to lunch.
To the first place we ever went out to eat together.
How's that for sappy & sentimental? Huh?
Thank you Rice King for your $5 lunch specials and your awesomeness.

Not to mention your totally legit fortunes which elicit a ton of laughter.
& rightfully so.

101 days

2011-01-19T13:44:00.003-07:00

We're almost to double digits, baby!

And I am most excited. And nervous. But mostly excited.

I really, honestly, truly wish I had something super duper fun and interesting to write about. I've got 20 minutes until my Honors English course starts and I've already spent all my spare change on the vending machines, browsed around on line, cleaned out my backpack and contemplated wasting my time playing Deluxe Bejeweled 2. Some one...please...help.

In interest of using this time wisely as well as updating (no matter how pathetic it may be):

Today's To Do List

1. Turn in Personal Statement & Resume in Honors English.

2. Meet with PSYCH 303 Professor, input grades, discuss take home test, etc.

3. Ab workout in living room.

4. Make a delicious dinner...maybe chicken parmesan.

5. Write up my grocery list.
6. Meet with Bishop...so much marriage prep. :)
7. Head over to Syd's to pick up ANOTHER textbook to read before tomorrow.

8. Read two articles, divide up group assignments, start written portion.

9. Sneak in an episode (or two) of That 70's Show: Season 2.

10. Kiss Lance.

Ta da!

Evolution

2011-01-17T10:54:00.001-07:00

The other day, Lance told me if I ever wanted to cut my hair super short again, he'd be totally supportive of it.

I don't know if I will, but it meant a lot that he said it.

Fashion

2011-01-14T16:57:00.037-07:00

Confession: I'm going back through this post and making myself clearer. I was blogging during the last half hour of my TA duty in Psych Central and the freshman group reading the section about Little Albert from their textbook was slightly distracting. I did feel quite powerful when I kicked them out.

In my marriage prep class, we were given as assignment called "MAP" (Martial Action Plan). It was quite a simple assignment...except I didn't look at my planner all week and forgot the assignment was due today. Oops. Thankfully, my teacher is a doll and let us email in our assignment after class was over. Let the Hallelujah chorus sing. For the assignment, we were required to make a list of 10 to 15 things we want/hope to do to prepare for marriage. They were supposed to answer the questions: How will you prepare yourself now to be a better marriage candidate & spouse? In what ways can you prepare for a marriage future? What new qualities would you like to develop?

All good stuff right there.

I was just thinking about how it's weird that I have no problem turning in an assignment with a list of 15 potentially very personal goals/hopes/plans but I second guess even discussing a few of them on this blog. I mean, for the most part I know you guys pretty well! I'm pretty sure you love me for me and at the very least tolerate my sometimes erratic behavior (heard that phrase on an episode of Dexter last night).

[Random tangent: Hanging out with Sydney is the best! She tells me I'm funny, which is a HUGE confidence booster. For reals. Also, she's willing to walk to Smith's with me to browse make up selections, contemplate frozen pizzas, discuss the necessity of nude lipstick & dance down the aisles to help ourselves focus. Syd = AWESOME.]

Back to the assignment at hand. It was pretty easy to come up with 15 things I want to do to become a better wife and the best possible companion to Lance. One of them was to brush my teeth every night. Sometimes I fall into bed without brushing and that is just sick nasty in the morning. There were two I put towards the beginning of the list that I want to touch on.

First of all, I wrote that I wanted to get back into better shape. This is not really surprising because it has on my mind recently. Yes, I want to look good. That's a given. Taking an introductory nutrition class really opened my eyes to the non-aesthetic benefits of exercise. Prevention of non-insulin dependent diabetes, osteoporosis, obesity, heart disease, high blood pressure, and kidney failure just to name a few. I plan on hanging out with Lance as long as possible during this life; if there is something I can do now to prevent an early death or some pretty painful last years, you bet your butt I'm going to do it. My more selfish, shallow reason is so that next time I go home, people won't say to me, "You've gained weight! Especially in this area (cue hand-motioning)."

This next one surprised me. It seemed to come out of the blue. I was hesitant to put it on the list at first, but it kept nagging insistently from the back of my mind that I caved and wrote it down.

I want to develop a personal style; pay more attention to clothing & how I present myself.

To me, this seems like a goal of someone who might still be in the dating period of her life, not happily engaged to the most wonderful man on earth. I didn't give much of an explanation. I doubt my teacher stalks my blog, but here's my explanation just in case. It starts with a story.

Once upon a time...I used to have the coolest outfits ever. The picture on the bottom right there is kind of how I used to dress: a lot of patterns, usually a bit more color, mix in a little bit of chaos/hand-me-downs and viola! That was how I dressed. I've never been a name brand kind of girl. I went for articles of clothing for their color, their textures and (sometimes most importantly) their price. Looking back through my photo albums, I had some real gems. Unfortunately, they kind of got laughed at. Never to my face thankfully. When Madison & I were looking at pictures this Christmas, we laughed at what I wore and her hair, but I think we did it out of habit. I'm not claiming to be a fashion prodigy by any means, but let me just say that I was wearing leggings under a jean skirt in 2000.

Sometimes I wonder if I hadn't gotten so worried about how people saw my clothing choices, I might have a more defined personal style now. I feel like it's gotten boring as I've aged. I don't need my style to fit into a nice little box or category, but I would like to be able to name it myself. Jeans & T-shirt style doesn't really cut it for me. I feel like I've got potential; a creativity buried deep down inside me, I just need to figure out how to release it. Also, some money for some killer basics would be of great help. Let the thrifting & gathering commence.

Personal style says a lot about a person. I don't want my first impression to be boring. I also feel like a personal style shows self respect. You care enough about the impression you are giving off to make it an honest one. It sounds a little shallow but this demonstration of personal respect sends a clear message that demands respect from those around you.

And let's face it, impressions are everything. You're applying to schools, interviewing for jobs, and trying to make a life for yourself. Being fashion conscious (or at least comfortable that your style is a true reflection of yourself) is a way to add a little "umph!" to your impressions.

I'm serious about this goal. I'm going to work hard to develop a personal style for myself. I'm still not sure how it relates to prepping for marriage. Even though Lance & I will become united in purpose and all that jazz, when it boils down to it, we're still individuals who have separate interests but love each other for all the reasons that make someone who they are.

Ok, I feel like I'm rambling and didn't really explain what I am feeling at all. And I just realized there is no end to my story. Sorry guys. It was kind of a lame story anyways...no climax, resolution, only one character. I'll write a better one next time.

Let's hear it for fashion!

Walkin'

2011-01-12T20:57:00.002-07:00

As many of you know (or maybe you don't know...in that case, hold on to your seats & get ready for some new info about Taylor), I live south of campus. First time since I've come to BYU and can I just say I absolutely love it!?!

Yes, it is lovely to be so close to campus. Lovely, lovely, lovely.
Except last night I told Lance that I wished I lived closer to campus.

"Why?" you may ask. Why? Well here's the dealio:

As shown in the most pro-est map ever (look below), while I may live close to the southern end of campus (ie, Maser Building, JKB, Testing Center) the location at which I make my living by is on the exact opposite end! It's so far away!!

I didn't really think I was that slow of a walker. Sure it takes me about 20 minutes to make it to work in the mornings (see older posts to remind yourself that I work first thing everyday at 8AM), but I figured that was normal. After all, it is quite a ways away. That was until this morning.

This morning while I was jamming out to some good ol' Kelly Clarkson & Slow Club on my way to work, I came to this startling realization: EVERYONE WAS PASSING ME. I am not exaggerating, I swear!

First, a few big, burly guys passed me. I thought nothing of it. They're big, burly, muscular and probably spend as much time in the gym as I spend thinking about how great it would be if I actually went to the gym.
Then a couple of girls wearing high heels, tights and practically nothing else beat me to the top of the hill. Okay, I thought, that's weird. I quickly assumed they were walking so quickly because they were quickly acquiring frostbite from their lack of wardrobe.
Suddenly this little grandma lady goes speeding past me with a polar bear on her head (that hat was the biggest, fluffiest, poofiest gathering of white faux fur I have ever been privy to witness) and one of those roller backpacks. This is when I started getting a tad bit concerned. I mean seriously, she was probably arthritic or suffered from osteoporosis (or both for all I know) and she was still getting to her destination faster than I was.
I finally admitted that I have a serious problem when a preggo woman zoomed past me. SERIOUSLY! She has like 60 or 70 extra pounds on me and she's still faster!

So the question is, how do I get faster? I already get all sweaty walking up the ramp/hill. Will exercising help solve this problem? Is my tendency to wander, mozy, and smell the lifeless frozen flowers causing me to take a considerable chunk of my time to simply reach where I need to go?

A more philosophical question for you, dear readers (I have 17 followers, I feel so cool!): Since when did the destination become more important than the journey? Eh?

2010: The Year of Sophistication

2011-01-12T19:11:00.004-07:00

...I say as I sit here in sweaty work out clothes, my hair pulled into a bun on top of my head, watching reruns while I soak my ingrown toenail in a bucket of hot water with baking soda.

I'll get there eventually.

The other day I was discussing with Syd how utterly sophisticated lipstick is. It really is, especially those deep & bright red shades. LOVE IT. Love how it makes white teeth look whiter and let's just admit it folks, it's too middle school cutesy to wear glittery shiny lip gloss ALL THE TIME.

So I decided to try it. There are a couple of blogs I follow (The Daybook, :: justin & ashley ::, all you need is love) who all mention red lipstick. They were my ultimate inspiration.

Except there is a problem. You see, I'm kind of a disaster. Especially when it comes to eating. I'm a messy, messy eater. I told Lance I prefer to enjoy my food via a full body experience. He bought it and it's been my excuse ever since. That doesn't bode well for lipstick though. It would be everywhere. Especially on my teeth and that is simply no bueno.

Thankfully sophistication is on my side. As my roomie and I were flipping through channels we came across this little commercial.

After questioning who Drew's fashion advisor & make up artist were, I realize the universe had just solved my dilemma. LIP STAIN!

I went right out (4 hours later when Lance got off work) and bought myself Lip Stain 440: Wild Berry Blush. We're working up to true sophistication one step at a time.

I put it on this morning and LOVE IT! I love the emphasis on my lips, I love how great my teeth look, I love that even though the rest of me wasn't very fashionista, at least my face felt that way. I found I was friendlier, smilier, and stopped more to look at my reflection in windows.

YUP.

And so it is with 440: Wild Berry Blush that I arm myself as I enter into the Year of Sophistication.

I'm psyched.

I can't wait to doll myself up & put on a black dress to show Lance just how sophisticated I can be.

That's probably TMI for people, but we're not married yet so it's nothing THAT sophisticated.

Dear Readers

2011-01-10T17:01:00.003-07:00

[All 16 of you :)]

Guess what I am doing right now.

Waiting for Syd to come over so we can exercise at the Smith Field House when the track opens at 5. I'm good on my word when I said I was going to start exercising this week. Boo yah.

Mondays like today make me feel like I literally can do anything I want.

I feel good. I feel in control. I feel awake.

Here's the DL on my oh-so-fab Monday:

Woke up and made it to work on time. First time I haven't clocked in after 8 all semester.

Went to my classes prepared and participated.

Wrote a paper I was honestly proud of.

Wrote a take home exam for PSYCH 303 in less than 60 minutes.

Managed to catch up on the piles of paperwork that have been stacking up on my desk.

Got inspired for my next writing assignment: Personal Statement & Resume.

Ran into some old friends I hadn't spoken to in ages.

Ran into Allison on campus. First time since we've been roommates.

Am about to exercise for an hour.

The biggest one of all: I felt cute & presentable today. Sadly I won't see Lance until after I work out and shower so I probably won't look as cute then but at least I won't stink either.

Here is a quick look at my life:

Intense, huh?

Well, today I am confident that I can do. I can destroy my final semester at BYU.

By simply looking at the above schedule, I feel empowered.

Who can do it?

I can do it!

On a random side note, last night Lance and I played this embarrassing game called "Oh-hey,-I-found-the-ward-directory-sitting-on-your-coffee-table,-let's-look-through-it-and-guess-who-you-went-out-with-before-me,-doesn't-that-sound-like-fun?-Ok,-go!" Thank heavens you can really only play that game once. So many nightmares I would like to choose not to relive. Apparently I liked guys with red faces. WTHeck?!

Well, Syd should be here any minute. Gotta put my socks and shoes on!

Wish me luck!!

PS: How do you know if you have carpal tunnel syndrome?

Valuable Food for Thought

2011-01-09T15:10:00.001-07:00

I have a writing assignment that is due tomorrow. I'm working on it now not because I procrastinated but because I spent the entire weekend thinking about it.

I think I've figured it out. Good thing I went to church, otherwise I might have been thinking for forever.

[Inspiration]

The assignment? To give away something of value. To actually give something away (only rule is it can't be your time) and then to analyze the whole experience. What makes something valuable? How did you feel? In order to be valuable do both parties have to value it?

Interesting things to think about.

Truthfully I'm a little bit scared. Because I have a feeling that the person I give this valuable thing away to won't appreciate it and will mock me for it instead. It's always a little nerve wracking to think about that possibility.

Last First Day

2011-01-06T20:58:00.010-07:00

What does this semester hold for me?

19 hours of work at a job I love.

15 hours of challenging, rigorous, insanely interesting classes.

Wedding planning.

6 hours of unpaid TA work for Psychology Writing.

Daily exercise. Serious, this is going to happen starting on Monday. I have a plan and everything.

Sleep deprivation.

Laughing.

Lots & lots & lots of reading & writing.

Learning.

So basically, this semester would be super easy and I'd definitely get all A's if I didn't have a life.

But I do have a life. I love it very much.

I'm shooting for straight A's though and I'm up for the challenge.

Thank heavens for Saturday & Sunday afternoon naps.

On Being an Adult

2011-01-04T21:32:00.003-07:00

[This is a really, really long post. At times it may seem like I'm rambling--which I am at perfect liberty to do so--but I promise it all comes together. I don't expect you to push through, but if you do, congrats!!]

Even though it's 4 months away, sometimes April 30th seems just around the corner. Creeping up on me faster than I am comfortable with. Don't get me wrong; I can't wait to be married. Being sealed to a worthy man for the rest of eternity is something that I've wanted since I was old enough to realize I was attracted to sweaty guys who play basketball, make farting noises with their armpits and tell bad jokes.

It's just...being married is so adult-like.

Am I adult enough to take care of someone for the rest of their lives?

Am I adult enough to hold back sharp words when I'm upset and adult enough to forget my problems when theirs are more important?

I'm I adult enough not to get anal over dirty dishes, family traditions, clothing styles, and general organization?

I want to be. Sometimes that just seems so hard.

When I was little, I thought a lot of things were adult: sitting at the "big kid table", successfully making it across the monkey bars, first dance, a driver's license, a job (2 at one point), a degree, cooking dinner. I even did all those things. Talk about being an adult! I figured the transition to college would be a breeze. Instead of gas, I'd be paying for rent (which at the time, the two were practically the same price). Instead of cooking for 6, I'd just have to scrape up enough food for 1. I had 2 jobs during HS, so one during college couldn't be all that different. Yup, I was going to destroy adulthood. Take it by its horns and tackle it to the ground.

Someone should have warned me.

Turns out being an adult is not just paying bills and turning in homework. Being an adult is learning how to provide for yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Sure you have wonderful friends & inspired church leaders & awesome teachers & amazing mothers, but there is a lot of effort required of you.

You want to be healthy? Figure out how to cook a good meal and exercise.

You want to grow intellectually? Actually get yourself to class on time and engage yourself in the lecture.

You want friends? Go out and make some.

You want to feel spiritually stronger? Hold yourself accountable for church attendance and daily scripture study & prayer.

Mom's not there to remind you about these things anymore. And even though she's just a phone call away, if she knows what's best for you, she won't call you daily to wake you up and remind you to pray.

Freshman year was hard, but I came out all the better. I was more adult than I had ever been before. But I wasn't done growing. In the past year and half I've grown wiser and more knowledgeable than ever before.

I learned the importance of breaking up in person.

I learned that summer flings are fun.

I learned that exploring a place you are completely uncomfortable in can create many funny memories that you continue to go back to again & again & again.

I've learned that I can get the best of winter and survive the ice.

I learned that some friends are only friends for a short while. And that's okay; there is a time and purpose for everything, right?

I learned that willing something to happen doesn't mean it will actually happen.

I learned that all families are crazy, but that is exactly what makes you do anything you can for them in a heartbeat.

I learned that whatever you plan is most likely not to go accordingly. But if you don't plan, you find yourself completely lost and sometimes without options.

I learned that being surprised can be painful.

I learned that the person I can count on to be there 100% of the time is myself, so I'd better start liking who I am and change what I don't.

I learned that I am more powerful on my knees.

I learned that acting impulsive may be exactly what the heavens want for you.

I learned doing dishes right away saves on energy & reduces stress.

I learned that striking out on my own leads to bigger and better things.

I learned the recipe for love: hot tubs, basketball, Chinese food & honesty.

I learned that writing helps me cope.

I learned that crying is not a sign of weakness and a healthy way for me to let go of my anxieties (but not all the time).

I learned that second chances are worth giving.

I learned that strapless tops are dangerous...especially when dancing in a performance.

I learned to trust myself.

I learned to trust God.

I've learned I'm no where near being done learning.

If I am going to be honest, which I really want to be, then I think that what scares me the most about marriage is what also excites me the most. I'm excited to be an adult. I'm excited to make that final break away from my parents. I love my parents. I love Lance's parents. But I can't wait until Lance & I make what I feel like is the first step into complete adulthood: marriage. All of a sudden we are no longer accountable to anyone but each other. We do what we feel is right for our new family.

Since my family lived so far away from our extended family, we had the opportunity to become so close to each other. We are dear, dear friends and no matter where we end up scattered across this amazing globe, we'll always be close. We're explorers; we thrive on new experiences, new places, new people. It was always possible to do that because we knew that despite what happened, we always had each other.

That is what I want for the Taylor & Lance Family. I want us to strike out on our own. Travel someplace away from our parents, away from our brothers and sisters, away from all that we know. I want us to discover what this world and life truly has to offer us. I want us to be Self Reliant. Independent. Happy. Loving. Excited. Nervous. Brave. I want us to raise a family in a new place. I want our children to be close to each other, close to us. I also want them to know their cousins, aunts, uncles & grandparents. I want them to Travel. Explore. Discover. Experience.

I only have my parents to compare my experience to. Their lives are the only lives who I feel I know intimately. My mom has created scrapbooks that document the first 18 years of my life. I have talked with them often about how their marriage started off, what they did to end up on Saipan. I'm trying to search their lives to figure out how I can make the decisions so I end up in the place where they are today, almost 24 years after they became their own family.

Sometimes doing that frustrates me. My life is already different than theirs. For starters, I'm graduating early from BYU. I'm getting married later (although 21 is still considerably young). Lance & I will be engaged and know each longer for almost a year before we get married. There is a greater age different between us. 31/2 years compared to 1. Lance doesn't want to be a lawyer. Lance & I aren't the first in our families to get married. We're not blondes. The point is, I want my life to be like my parents but it can't be, because it's my life. And I don't understand why I find that upsetting at times.

My dearest friend, Sydney, let me borrow this book. It's called A Quiet Room: A Journey Out of the Torment of Madness. It's about Lori, a schizophrenic who started hearing voices when she was 17 and how she battled and finally masters her illness. I'm only a few pages in but something she wrote hit me:

Along the way I have lost many things: the career I might have pursued, the husband I might have married, the children I might have had. During the years when my friends were marrying, having their babies and moving into houses I once dreamed of living in, I have been behind locked doors, battling the Voices who took over my life without even asking my permission...Today, nearly eighteen years after that terrifying summer, I have a job, a car, an apartment of my own. I am making friends and dating. I am teaching classes at the very hospital at which I was once a patient.

As I was reading that, the startling clear truth hit me: there is no correct timeline. My belief that there is a success timeline we need to follow to be happy is completely false! Lori struggled with her illness for many, many years. Yet in the end, she came out on top. She came out happy. She learned the lessons she was supposed to in this life. She doesn't have a husband, she doesn't have kids...yet. She's teaching and changing lives. She's successful in an unconventional way and I admire her for that and hope that I will be able to find my unconventional way to contribute and lead a successful life. Who knows what will happen as long as she is living like she is supposed to.

My biggest obstacle is this expectation that in order to be happy, things have to be a certain way. If my life is different than my parents', THAT IS NOT WRONG. My life is 100%, guaranteed, for sure going to be different than my parents'. As soon as I come to fully embrace this liberating truth, the sooner the fears about marriage and adulthood will fade. The only expectations I have to live up to are the expectations I set for myself. I know my parents will love me for me. They will be proud of me for my contributions to this world.

So, from this day on, I am going to do what I feel is right for me. Not what is supposed to happen according to some timeline I've created in my head. Not what I think other people expect me to do. NO. I am going to do what is right for me. What is right for the Taylor & Lance family. I am going to be confident in my decisions and happy with the outcomes.

And we're starting off good, considering I'm very happy with this decision.

Jetlag and all good things that come from it

2011-01-02T14:58:00.002-07:00

Madison & I made it back to Provo safely in one piece and without too much static in our hair. As usual, the return trip went smoother than the going-to trip. Why is that?
There were some exciting moments though:

1) On the flight to Nagoya, there was practically no one, which means we each got our own row. Sadly, I wasn't exhausted enough to fully enjoy such a blessing, but I did doze in comfort as I spread my legs out across all 3 seats and stole everyone's pillows and blankets. Also, as we were getting ready to land, there was some CRAZY turbulence. The kind that makes your stomach jump into your throat and not in a good way. I have never experienced anything like that while riding a plane before.

2) On the flight from Nagoya to Narita, I sat next to a Japanese father & son. The father wore one of those surgical masks the whole trip. The boy just laughed at him. I wish I had gotten a picture.

3) On the flight from Narita to Los Angeles, I had the worst seat. The tray table was broken, so whenever the flight attendant would set the food or drink on it, my pants were in serious risk of being dumped on. Also, the it seemed like my seat was right where the people boarding the flight met up with the people coming up from the back of the plane so I got a lot of butts shoved in my face. Also someone's crotch. Not pleasant. FINALLY, the guy behind me kept a lifetime supply of klenex and chocolates in the overhead compartment and for some reason felt the need to keep opening it up to see if they were still there and every single time something would fall out and hit me in the head. He would then apologize profusely while trying to pick up his beloved chocolates that had fallen out of the box when it collided with my head and landed between my back and the seat. Luckily, my super ghetto chair went back farther than the normal ones and I used that to my sleep advantage (and for payback for the chocolate/klenex guy).

4) On the flight from LAX to SLC, my luggage got broken. A wheel got busted off. I know it happened on that trip because when we claimed our luggage in LAX for customs, everything was just fine. Sad, sad day. I had to drag my poor, heavy, huge suitcase across the airport to Lance's car.

So that was our trip. It's so nice to be back in my own apartment, although with school around the corner I'm a little intimidated. And the lack of humidity is making my skin itchy and uncomfortable. I got so spoiled in Saipan. Darn.

I'm super jetlagged. Which made staying up for New Year's Eve easy. I slept in until 2PM. Okay, not the most productive way to start out the most exciting year of my life, but that's okay. I'm flexible. However, because I had slept in so late, I was not tired at all last night. After unpacking, Lance & I went out to dinner (free meal at Cafe Rio for the win!) and the BYU basketball game. We left early though because BYU was completely destroying Fresno and it was hard for me to watch. I felt awful. Lance says it's because I lack a "killer instinct". He's probably right. When I played ball in middle and high school, I was always to nice to be a truly extraordinary player. I had fun though and still love the game. After we left, we went back to his place and started watching Season 1 of Dexter.

8 episodes later it's 5AM and I am finally tired. 4 more episodes until we finish the season. Jetlag's not so bad afterall.

Happy 2011!!!

Numero Dos!!

2010-12-28T22:12:00.003-07:00

I'm not sure about the heading yet....I'm just trying to get cute and creative for future blogs. I'm not actually as technologically savvy as I like to think. We'll see how things turn out. :)

Anyways, here are a couple of my New Year Resolutions. I'm posting them publicly because I think that will shame me enough into actually sticking and following through with them.

1) No fast food
2) Core exercises/run Monday through Saturday
3) Floss every single day

I feel those are pretty doable. Lance gave me the idea for no fast food, so it's nice that we'll both be doing that together. My dentist told me to floss or else my "problem areas" are going to transform into cavities. Speaking of problem areas, there are a couple that I am hoping to get rid of by exercising on a daily basis.

Motivation: Wedding Pictures.
And on second thought, for myself and my general happiness.

All Things Wedding

2010-12-28T16:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my mother taught me how to download free fonts from the internet.

I. AM. IN. LOVE.

Helloooooo next semester's new distraction.

Anyways, the reason we were downloading free fonts was for wedding invitations. This has been an insanely productive Christmas break. I wake up with the sun (any time between 7 and 8) but am usually passed out on the couch at 10PM. My biggest, best distraction yet isn't here on island and since we're multiple time zones apart, I have so much time to do stuff. I do wish he was here though.

I've called up relatives and family friends, designed invitations with Mom, planned the reception layout & program & dessert & decorations & centerpieces, decided on who is wearing what, and today we are picking out pictures for the slideshow among other things.

To whoever said planning a wedding is stressful, I'm sure they're right.

But for now, this is just a lot of fun.